my love is for you

2011-02-13T03:23:00.006+08:00

Pictures for upload at my itouch... hahaha... Good day everybody... Im so sleepy now at work.!!

2011-01-04T01:59:00.002+08:00

First of all i would like to wish everybody a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

MAY ALL THE BEST TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE..

HAPPY 2011 BLOGGERS!!

Currently im on my nite shift rite now.. im over at werk at the moment.. hmm... kinda very tired and ngntok already.. its onli like 3hrs have past and im here yawning like nobody business.. tomorrow will be my last day of nite shift.. den its my off day.. yay same as boifren... i like it... but soon our off days will be different by 1 day i tink.. this coming 13 January will be boifren DND and i dunnoe wat to wear.. can anybody pls give me some ideas wat to wear?? i guess i will wear something black and white? or something striking like red? haha...

looking at the date..nxt month Iron Maiden will be coming to singapore... woohooo... i have bought the tickets like mths ago with boifren and finally nxt mth is the mth we got to go... hehe... most of his frens going for the ones which is the standing site but as for us we will be seating.. but near to the stage of course... hehe... at the front of course... hehe... i tot of finding iron maiden shirt... want to ask boifren to follow me buy one... as he is the pro one who noes which is the nice graphic of iron maiden shirt... this would be the first concert that i will be going... hehe... afterall i onli went for gigs.. normal small gigs at pubs.. but this time.. i want to see with my real eyes where ppl mosh in a very big group..last time i went to some kind of a small concert ppl do mosh rite in front of me but i wasnt that aware its actually a mosh... haha... easy to say.. i dunnoe its a mosh actually... i tink it would be a fun concert i guess... first experience in my life... hehee...

so ppl... wats your 2011 resolution?

i couldnt tink of one now.. but i have some wishes... does that count as a resolution too??

1) earn money which i can save up to more than $1000 by 6 mths
2) receive letter from HR to confirm my Full time at Hyatt
3) go to Hyatt Regency Kuantan with boifren or any short trips
4) pass my NITEC cert.
5) change to someone better
6) gets lots and lots of love from boifren

so yeah!! thats my wishes... i tink i have more... but i just couldnt tink of it anymore... hehee.... :)

2010-12-30T21:10:00.002+08:00

tomorrow will be 31st december and by midnite it will be a new year.. 2011!!!

hopefully 2011 will be a better year for both me and boifren... this year we have some challenging things that we have gone thru.. hopefully next year would be a better year for us... though we have sacrifice some things for both of us i felt happy with wat we have now...

the more i have boifren by my side... the deeper the love i have for him... pray hard for boifren and his family will be having a great year too with a new house that they will be moving in soon... and it will be far for both me and boifren... coz his house is so deep inside which he does not allow me to go there by my own... have to wait somewhere for him to fetch me... i love boifren very much...

i have lots and lots to say... but... i it just couldnt came out... hmmm... as for boifren... i see u change alot since u dun like to stay at home so much coz u dun have anything to do at home... u will be like not going home... i will be out like at night and wondering somewhere... i cant stop u from anything but i really hope watever u talk to me, u tell me, i hope u wont be doing anything stupid or things that i dun like... just one thing... i da serik dengan perkara lame yg i have gone thru before... hmmm... saye sayang awak...

will 2011 be a very good year for both of us... love u!!

2010-11-25T18:03:00.002+08:00

its been long since i last update this blog of mine... i just dunnoe why i didnt update my blog... issit too busy with work.. or i just dun bother about it... hee...

hmmm... past few days kak leha was talking to me about SILK AIR... hmmm... she said whether i want to follow her go for and interview over there..although i have just convert from a part time to a full time at hyatt... im still under probation.. so i dun have any leave at all and if i take mc it will be an unpaid leave too... hmm... so i have 1 more month to go for everything at hyatt till im confirmed a full timer over there... hmmm... so i told kak leha that i dun think so i will go for it as firstly for sure boifren wont let me go for that kind of job and he will scream at me if i were to go for that interview and i will be accepted if im good enuf.. *chey mcm bagus* so i told her no.. i dun want... all the best to kak leha with the interview this coming saturday...

this month is kind a hectic for boifren... or so called this year...its not a good year for him and his family... hmmm... tomorrow he will be moving house to his grandmother house at bukit panjang... it will be very near to my place too... but... although its near... i dunnoe till when he will be staying there... it might be just for a short while till his parents get the house key... hmm... i really really hope once he move to bukit panjang house some of the problems will be lessen a little bit... but boifren will be having problems going to werk as it will be very far for him... far to go to werk near to get to my house... :)
but i cant be that happy now... as boifren didnt even say that much to me about what will happen tmr and the following day... hmmm... just wait for him to call me... boifren have been quiet at times... tried to call him earlier but.. he didnt pick up my calls and even reply my msg... but... around 4 plus den he reply my txt msgs... hmmm... i wonder... is boifren ok? hmmm.. i tried to make a conversation with him but he replied me one by one.. i mean only one word.. one word... hmmm.. scared if he were to suddenly scream at me.. i guess i will just wait for him to call me den.. hmm... i hope he is fine... i miss him... hmm.. tot tmr can meet him... but... it seems like... he wont be meeting me den... hmmm.. will see the following day.. hopefully i can meet him... must be back home as fast as i can.. or meet him over at my workplace... see how it goes...

one of the days i need to register for my exam.. there goes my money... but i forget about the tuition tingy... hmm... will fork out more money on my own this time.. need boifren help.. but... hmmm.. i dun think so this is the rite time... no shopping for me.. hmmm... no money during my bdae too... hmmm... i hope boifren will have a bright year nxt year with his family...

i love you lots boifren and i miss you too...

2010-11-12T22:01:00.001+08:00

was seating at the sofa and watching the tv... suddenly i feel like... i want to be with boifren... i feel like i want boifren to seat with me at the sofa like we always do and watch tv together... boifren will always disturb me or we will be laughing together... hmm.. but unfortunately he is at werk... heee... couldne be with me rite now... but..... i just hang up the phone with him... feel super happy when he call me... yeah... he is at werk and awaiting for the time... its already 10 now... he must be closing everything by now... hmm... sembunyi behind the door while talking to me... hmm... escape onli... the way it is like... werking in a business centre... where u alone in that particular office and guest coming in and we have to handle any of the guest queries... but boifren have to do reports whereby if me.. i have handle anything that the guest ask for... printing, internet, courier service, emails, calls,.. like post office already... now awaiting for boifren to reach home... not my home.. but his home... heee.... i just couldnt wait for this sunday... boifren will be performing.. yay.. like finally i get to see him performing again... yahooo!!! its been while since he last perform... i guess mayb 1 year plus already... need to check out the last album that boifren perform... but recently he did perform but not in public like gigs or something its just a werk event... so ya... he have to participate in it coz ppl choose him... now im awaiting for the day to come... hmm... it will be a whole day event... but i have to go to werk rite after dat.. as i will be werking mid nite... so... i have to be awake till the nxt day... hopefully i cn stay awake the whole day... camera will be a must for me to bring on sunday... !!!!! cant wait.. cant wait.. cant wait!!!!!!!!!!! yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love u bby....

2010-11-09T17:01:00.002+08:00

yesterday i have a very hard time booking the IRON MAIDEN tickets.. it always show the decline signal... so talk to auntie rosie about it and ask her whether i can borrow her credit card and i will pay her back.. so she agreed and i use her credit card to book it... straight away it was sent to her HP and we confirm it right away... after werk, i transfer the money to her without fail.. if its cheap i dun mind.. the amount... its nearly 800 dollars... boifren got super excited when he follow to collect the tickets from the sistic counter.. all thanks to auntie rosie for helping us about the account... :) so.... we will be going to iron maiden concert this coming february 2011!!!! wooohoooo!! it will be the first time im going to this kind of concert.. hopefully it will be a very great experience for me.... all thanks to boifren for allowing me follow him go for the concert and not forgetting auntie rosie.. she borrowed me her credit card! below are the picture of the IRON MAIDEN CONCERT!!!!

2010-10-26T21:28:00.002+08:00

just came back from dinner at lot 1.. meet boifren in the bus just now.. hmm... eat at food culture.. i was super hungry but guess wat.. he was the one finish the food first..

went down to the smoking area.. as usual boifren want to smoke.. over there he told me bits and pieces of wat he wants to do in future.. boifren have a very big big plans for the future... wat it is i couldnt reveal here.. as its still under planning how to start with.. when.. and all... but... in my mind i do have questions asked... but when i ask boifren... he just simply kept quiet.. hmm... will the plans we have made earlier will come to the picture of wat he said to me just now... im wondering will it be or not?? boifren have a very big big thing that he wants to be come true..but i just worried if for example boifren focused on that he forget about the things we earlier have plan... hmm... insyallah.. his wish will come true and also.. the things that we have plan earlier came true too... Amin...

2 days have past as i have been in the orientation over at my work place.. as i can rate about this orientation.. its very boring.. boring because all the things that they are going through is something that i have already know... about rooms.. restaurant... tomorrow will be the last day of orientation... after that it will be a normal procedure for me to werk again... hmm...

I LOVE YOU BOIFREN... I WILL SUPPORT U NO MATTER WAT...

2010-10-22T19:11:00.002+08:00

this days boifren have been busy with all his activities at werk.. couldnt get to meet him for like a few days past.. i meet him onli on the day that he have a chalet. . but i have to rush back to werk as i came in late on that day.. hmm... i miss boifren so much.. he is performing over at jurong today.. how i wish i could be there watching him performing.. but i cant... tmr boifren will be going to esplanade watch Amy Search... like of course... i wont following.. he will be going with his werk mate.. hmm... haiz... i wonder.. when can i meet him... im still waiting for the day for me to get the chance to meet him... he have lots and lots of events going on.. at times he went back home late or have to stay up late at werk for last minit things.. pity him... hmmm... but i miss him too.. at times i tried to call or txt him.. but hmm.. he couldnt pick up my call or reply my messages.. i need to wait for the nxt available time or day for me to have a day to spent with him.. it depends too tmr he can meet me or not... haiz...

went to the doctor to take my lab result.. hmm... alhamdulillah.. everything is fine.. hmm.. talk to boifren about it... but halfway he ask me to sleep.. coz im might be sound super sleepy... hmmm..... i miss boifren so much...

2010-10-12T21:05:00.002+08:00

i have alot of things need to update over here.. first of all it will be about myself followed by myself, followed by myself, myself, myself,myself and myself....

to be exact it will be about myself..

haiz.. yesterday i went to my doctor appointment over at polyclinic.. i have to take blood test.. other other test i guess on my nxt appointment maybe.. my hand is swollen not exactly swollen but its blueblack due to the blood test.. they took so many blood.. its 3 big tubes for all the things that they need to do.. boifren didnt get to accompany me as he is working morning shift.. so i have to go alone.. i have hard time taking out my money and pay all the things over at the counter.. my hand couldnt bend becoz its so painful... so after finish paying and stuff.. i walk slowly over to the bustop.. i felt my stomach is super empty as i dun eat and i cant eat coz i need to fast if i want to have my blood test done.. reach at the bustop.. i sat down for a while coz its really a hot day and i felt blackout due to too much of blood giving out... so reached home safely and kakak change the dressing of my hand as there is blood coming out.. so went to have our so called late breakfast at sinaran as i will be going to werk after dat.. went to werk as normal but i couldnt do much things.. it was super busy yesterday.. its like mad house.. i dun really eat during break time as the food was not tat nice.. i just eat wat i can eat... txt boifren but he didnt reply.. he must be super busy yesterday... he finish werk also he slept after finish washing up... hmm... i starting to miss boifren already...

on saturday boifren went out with his frens.. but i dun really disturb him i guess.. i did text him la.. but he scold me once... i dunnoe why.. my mind was everywhere.. i cant really concentrate on my werk.. i kept looking at the clock.. looking and looking... haiz... going home time.. i txt boifren about wat i actually going thru... i felt so stress.. i felt like im having depression too... my mind was like something kept me thinking about it. and i often get stupid nightmares.. i dun really tell boifren about wat the nightmare is.. when everytime i want to tell.. boifren will be busy with his work or he is tired after work.. so i cant really communicate with him about wat happen in the day.. i onli can leave him a msg at his phone.. but dunnoe whether he really reads it or not.. coz he's work is tough... i onli meet him during is off days that will be either the first day or second day only... but everytime second day off i will be meeting him either before or after i finish work.. hiaz... after telling boifren about wat im going thru..i felt relieve.. but still i cant really talk to him everything on the same day.. i really really want to spent time with him like last time.. where we sit down talk everything, take pictures... its like clearing our mind and also i can share things with each other... hmmm

2 more months will be my birthday.. counting down on dat.. hopefully my wish will come true..
now im awaiting for my blood test result.. i felt worried wat will the result be.. told boifren to accompany me to the doctor.. but... he dun promise me.. in case he have to come back to work again.. praying really hard that nothing happen about me from the inside.. haiz.. felt really really worried about wat will the results be... if boifren cant follow den...... haiz...................... im going alone again den....... gd news or bad news... haiz... hopefully it will be a gd news......... felt super worried.....praying really really hard...

2010-10-01T22:55:00.005+08:00

so here is our schedule for this 3 mths.. the yellow is my off day.. and the blue one is boifren off day.. boifren pls look whether is there anything that is wrong

OCTOBER 2010

NOVEMBER 2010

DECEMBER 2010

I noe its kinda small... boifren i will show u the original copy over at my house soon...and the amazing is.. boifren is off during my birthday...weeee... but... i need to take my PH... but.... yg mane satu ehk... haiz.... boifren pls be reminded that u will be having a date with me tmr 02/10/10.. heeee...

2010-09-30T21:11:00.002+08:00

after 9mths of serving as a part-timer in grand hyatt singapore.. tmr is officially a day of something different for me as i will be a full-timer in hyatt.. no more anyhow taking off, anytime i want to come it to werk, having a very big pay in my bank account haiz.. it will be a full commitment in working... here again i will start to werk and werk and werk for 5 days and 2 days off... below will be both mine and boifren schedule... bby pls take note ok... haiz.. wat a sad2 schedule.. tmr will be sending all those form that i have sign just now.. freaking alot forms.. haiz... will be updating our schedule soon..coz need to update my off days schedule.. boifren schedule is done.. but mine.. haiz.. i dunnoe.. frm wat i count.. aft his off days den it will be my off days...haiz... being in a full commitment in working is not easy.. where both boifren and me will be busy werking.. time for together need to be flexible too... but hopefully we will be fine with this kind of schedule.. bby ily so much.. we need to discuss about this ok... and dun forget about our deal this coming saturday... boifren so bad he sell me his itouch instead of giving me.. hmmph... he will be buying a new itouch 4... i miss boifren alot.. need to have quality time with boifren soon.. really really soon..

2010-09-27T12:48:00.002+08:00

just came back from doctor.. have a really really bad headache last nite till today.. but unfortunately.. while checking, doctor check me thoroughly.. and i have to came back in two weeks time to have my check up.. haiz.. about wat.. i dun tink i can explain here.. i feel really worried now.. at the same time.. i need boifren with me.. onli with him i can explain everything.. wat happen just now.. i feel so weak rite now.. how should i solve this problem.. i cant undergo by myself.. bby.. please forgive me.. i really need u to help me.. i really need to find a way for boifren to forgive me.. and talk to me.. praying hard for boifren to be with me as normal..

i miss you so much syg.. i love u alot too.. muuacckkzz...

2010-09-26T20:34:00.002+08:00

i tink this must be my 3rd post for the day...

i just couldnt think what should i do for bby to forgive me.. i tried calling him.. i tried msging him.. there are still no response.. wat should i do..?????

i feel so sad.. i feel so regret.. :''(

bby i btol2 mintak maaf.. i didnt mean to make u angry.. i didnt mean to scold u..

wat am i suppose to do..??

i nvr feel like this before.. its been 2 days bby nvr call, txt me..

bby da tk syg i lagi ke?

im really really sorry.. pls forgive me...

i dunnoe wat to do.. my head is so painful..

2010-09-26T15:39:00.001+08:00

this is something i created for you.. i really really hope you will forgive me..

2010-09-26T13:04:00.002+08:00

its been a day that bby did not talk and msg me.. haiz... i felt really sad..

bby must be really angry with me.. i need bby with me.. i need his hugs and kisses..

I REALLY REALLY REALLY MISS HIM ALOT...

bby im sorry.. i really really sorry...

bby.. pls call or txt me..

2010-09-25T19:17:00.002+08:00

hmm... bby went to watch F1 last night..im kinda like make noise with him... just worried that he cant wake up in the morning to go to werk.. i noe to watch F1 is only once if u got the chance.. hmm... i noe boifren was angry that i kept saying that he cant go.. hmm.. but ya.. he went too.. i was waiting for him to reached home.. boifren must be so tired now.. hopefully he will get a very good sleep and enuf rest as his schedule will be kinda hectic this week.. hmm..

sorry sayang i was like super noisy with u.. im just worried about u.. hmmm.. i noe u are the one who will feel tired not me.. i syg u.. bkn nye i tk syg...haiz...

reached home from werk just now, mama was so noisy with me.. firstly about the job that dad's work place offer me 1.5k.. which i dun give a damn at all.. i dun trust about it... and also she kept pestering me to go to the doctor and have a check up as i kept losing weight.. hmmm... she wants me to go and eat those gain weight pills and stuff... i already ever ask boifren before about this.. but he dun allow me.. boifren must be very busy now.. i txt him but he did not reply.. hmmm.. just wait for later at night den... i felt so stress like whenever i reach home.. everything was burst out to me.. cant u at least give me rest a while and aft i wake up from sleep and have a shower den talk about it.. haiz... issit because im stress that i lose weight alot??

sorry syg if i make u angry... i love u so much ok...

2010-09-20T21:50:00.008+08:00

had a very very fun and enjoying day for 4 days with boifren... friday out with boifren and frens for hari raya outing.. saturday out with boifren and my family for hari raya... sunday out with boifren and his family and to an open house of my fren ... and monday chill with boifren at my house and other places.. really great weekend with boifren... out till late midnite with him.. very fun spending with boifren this few days.. rounding around singapore lucky we nvr end up to airport again... hehe.. but pity boifren alot.. he was super tired driving the whole entire day...from teck whye to bedok... tampines.. pasir ris and back to teck whye again... we really spent our time tgt alot although some parts he was not there talking to me or entertain me.. i love u so much syg.. i really really had fun with u alot.. we gone thru alot of things tgt within this 4 days..

here is our hari raya pictures...

i like our hari raya pictures this year.. super nice.. but boifren.. stop it ehk muke.. hahaha...

hmm... i just dunnoe why after all that incident... slow by slow i forget about it but everytime i saw boifren online in facebook or even normal msn i start to think negatively.. or he reply really late during our conversation in msn.. i will surely ask him is he chatting with someone else.. and kept asking wat is he doing.. haiz.. is the trust frm me to him still there or not.. haiz.. other things i can trust him.. but about this.. haiz..

tomorrow me and boifren will be starting to get back on track.. going to werk.. there goes me nvr get to meet boifren aft a few days... hmmm... will miss him so much.. really really much..

but for sure.. i will always love you so much syg..

2010-09-14T09:07:00.002+08:00

fikiran dan hati ku tetap tidak tenang.. setelah aku lelap kn mate, berdoa agar aku dpt lupe kan semua yg telah terjadi pada pagi smlm.. mungkin hati ku terguris dengan kata-kata nya smlm.. apakah harus ku lakukan? adakah ini satu cabaran untuk ku.. setelah aku berkata-kata dengan nya.. alangkah terkejut nya diriku ini kau tidak terfikir diriku ini sedang berasa sedih dan terluka.. aku menangis semalam terus-terusan.. adakah apa dia mengatakan btul ataupn tidak.. aku tetap menyayangi nya seperti biasa.. tiada niat sekali pun untuk ku tinggal kn dirimu... tidak sekali pn untuk ku terfikir... dirimu amat ku sayangi dengan sepenuh jiwaku... haiz...

bby.. knape harus ni terjadi?? u tau betape sedih nye diri i ni.. i percaye kn u.. dun make me lose trust on u.. i tk pernah terfikir nk tinggal kn u.. tk skali pn... i sayang u.. ape diri i ni tk cukup sempurna untuk u ke? i tk pernah nk luka kn hati u lagi.. tk pernah i terfikir pape pn. i cant sleep last nite.. pls.. stop talking to her.. pls.. everytime i ckp psl ni.. u ckp i tk leh terima.. haiz.. u tk fikir prasaan i ke? i have perasaan too.. kalau i buat bende yg sama.. u ternampak.. u will get mad too.. i still remember u were freaking mad when anak angkat mak i msg me.. u nvr talk to me at all.. u were very very mad.. if i can stop everything.. why not u.. if i bole tgl kn and stop contacting ex i.. why not u.. pls muhaimin.. i dun want any third party in our relationship.. look.. i love u ok.. pls.. dun hurt me again.. pls.. i dun want talk about it anymore ok.. pls bby.. i trust u.. i love u.. and please.. dun hurt me again.. stop talking to her and stop contacting with her...bear in mind... i wont ever ever tinggal kn u.. i tetap sayang u...dun u realise i slalu bising2 ngn u psl die.. kite gado pn psl die... u hurt me pn.. psl die.. haiz..

bby.. please k.. stop.. please...

2010-09-13T19:46:00.002+08:00

this post is specially for my beloved boifren..

bby.. i bole rase u marah sebab i masok facebook u.. but i kn da msg u dulu sblom i masok facebook.. i masok facebook stakat nk main game frontierville... lepas tu da i tutup.. i masok facebook i... i tk menceroboh ape2 bende dlm facebook u.. i buat ape intention i.. and thats all.. i baru bukak and the chat thingy pop up from your facebook.. i close the chat window and i proceed to the game.. after adding myself and sent some gift.. i logout and log on to my facebook.. kalau u tk percaye.. u masok la u nye facebook.. u masok frontierville.. da level 2 pn i main tu game.. tapi skejap jek.. i txt u.. just to remind u onli.. i tk marah.. i tk ape2 pn.. i cume tegur u aje.. once i ever ask u before can i log on to ur facebook and play that game.. u said yes i may but tell u before i log on.. i did wat i suppose to do and i proceed.. i bkn nye pandai2 menceroboh tgk ape u buat kat facebook u.. wat for.. i trust u... and like i said.. jangan sampai satu hari i npk u ctc ngn die.. tu jek.. if u nvr do it like wat u said earlier... u wont be this angry marah2 i psl i masok facebook u... it seems like u are worried.. hmm.. u marah2 i psl u nk i mengamok ngn u ke? hmm.. syg... niat i stakat main game tu jek.. u dun get it wrong.. look.. i still love u ok.. walaupn i tk marah.. i ttp sedih.. antare u ckp dgn jujur ataupn tidak.. i tk nk gado ngn u.. i tk nk bising2 ngn u.. all i want is u to think.. if u tipu i.. u ctc ngn die.. u better stop ok.. tu baru facebook syg.. i caught u once.. dun let me caught u again k.. allah tu adil..

u dun have to say sori if u really did k.. i just want u to stop.. tats all.. im not angry.. and i dun want to talk about it anymore.. k.. i syg u.. and i miss u so much syg.. meet u soon my dear.. i fhm.. semua org buat salah.. dun be angry2 ok.. i tk marah.. y should u be angry.. i cume tegur jek..

i love u boifren very much...

2010-09-13T17:49:00.000+08:00

i will be insane in no time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-12T09:22:00.002+08:00

i woke up from sleep and i suddenly miss boifren so much... hug those teddy bears that boifren give me.. tears rolling down my eyes... looking at his pictures makes me miss him more.. txt him and wish him good morning... haiz...last night txt him a while before i sleep but he was at his cuzzins place so dare not to txt him tat much... onli talk to him a while before i go out from home... hmm... every nite and everyday i always get a gd nite wish and a kiss from him...but 4 days has past there isnt anything anymore.. i dunnoe why... i always wake up so early in the morning...and i cnt go back to sleep once im up from sleep...hmm... i really really miss boifren really really much... im awaiting for the day to meet him and we will jln raye together... cant wait to take pictures together too... we will be wearing white again... like last year... but this year we will be jln2 not taking bus or mrt... but via car... yay... boifren will be driving like of course... haha...

hmmm... oh yes... just a reminder for boifren if you read this...

ayah said... about nxt weekend... masih blom cnfirm... nnt kite update lagi... hmmm...

since ni masih la hari raye kn... saye amik kesempatan ini untuk mintak maaf la ye.. i nk mintak maaf kalau i ade tersalah silap atau terkasar bahase dgn u.. halal kn makan dan minum i.. selamat hari raye.. maaf zahir dan batin...

I MISS U SYG VERY VERY MUCH...

2010-09-09T22:32:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYE TO ALL!!!

Its been while i didnt update my blog... i just dunnoe wat to update i guess... now currently im having my 5mins rest.. after running around the house cleaning my room, the living room... funny thing is kakak and me were running around the house and den mummy scold us saying.. "korg lari2 tk igt ke dulu adek kau ni jatoh" I kept quiet... den we start laughing and running again... boifren just finish his werk.. pity him... tmr he has to werk... pity him so much... hmm... nvrm tmr onli... 2nd raye and 3rd raye u will be at home.. onli the feeling of 1st raye to werk is like such a waste.. hmm... my house is halfway done... hmmm.. watching SINAR LEBARAN now.. funny2.. hehehe

Selamat hari raye semua.....

2010-08-30T10:11:00.002+08:00

yesterday morning met hajar at far east plaza after she finish her midnight shift.. meet her about 1030hrs.. so sat awhile chit chatting and den at 1130hrs proceed to the shop and we start project our hair.. as usual hajar finish her hair first.. while mine is much more later coz at about 1pm or later it became more and more ppl coming in... at first it was super duper quiet onli the 2 of us.. den ppl keep coming in... my rebonding was like behind time already... sorry to hajar coz she is super sleepy already... she have a gd power nap in the salon itself..we joke non stop and talk alot of nonsense things.. hahaha... so we go and buy some stuff after our hair is done and we are super satisfied.. im tired at that moment.. so bought my shoe.. hajar bought a shirt for herself.. and off we go home...

i think i still have some things that is not done yet.. so... need to get some things done fast.... feeling feeling like colouring my hair.. but.. hmm... i dun think so. boifren will shout at me wasting money.. hehe.. so.. boifren.. i went to do my hair yesterday.. hehehe

i love u syg...

2010-08-29T20:20:00.002+08:00

I MISS MY BOIFREN SO MUCH...

AND AND...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SAYANG...

bby... i want find other baju... can we go geylang soon.. during ur off day.. either tmr or day after... please....
i feel like hugging bby rite now.. imy him so much... muaackkkz... i love my cute boifren...

2010-08-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

just now went to geylang.. my intension was buying my 2nd baju raye.. as i always have 2 baju raye in 1 year.. but..there isnt any size available for me.. haiz.. i really really want that baju.. although there is size.. but the baju have some black markings which the person doesnt even want to lessen the price.. so i walk all around geylang bazaar u imagine i walk and walk under the hot sun and it lots and lots of ppl.. i perspire like nobody business.. i felt blackout in a sudden and my head is super giddy... sat awhile at the bustop.. and walk up the over head bridge.. sat at the curtain area.. mummy walk around the place while i took a rest over there... im kept thinking where can i get white baju kurung.. all i see its not really nice.. not attracted to me... haiz... informed boifren about it.. but he said to buy something else... i have already otw back home.. i saw some other baju.. but it didnt attracted to me... haiz... nvrm..will drag boifren to geylang if there is a chance...

2010-08-24T23:05:00.004+08:00

i want this baju kurung that i saw... i really really really want.... i dun have enuf money to buy this...haiz.. short of a few dollars...

i want the baju that is in white in colour... its this one ^^^^^^^^^
i want it so much... pls someone follow me go buy.. just grab and go home.. i want go myself but boifren dun allow...

2010-08-17T21:26:00.002+08:00

nothing to blog this days... its not that there is nothing to blog.. there is but im just plain lazy la... 3 days off day.. 3 days im lying on the couch doing nothing.. i can actually revise my subjects for exam that will be coming soon.. but.. hmm... nvrm... i need to re-do my schedule for hari raya and also my exam which is coming soon nxt mth.. hmm... i onli took 2 subject.. hopefully both i will do well... need to save money more for my exam.. haiz...

yay like finally i got to meet boifren just now.. hehehe.. i feel so happy to meet him just now.. though i was nt in a really gd mood just now.. but with him... i feel fine.. hehehe... i really really miss boifren so much.. hehehe... ily bby.. muaackzz..

can i meet boifren again tmr.. pls... i want to meet him again...!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-15T22:40:00.003+08:00

i cant believe it.. this little gerl can actually sing this song... how old is she im not sure.. she is from britains got talent.. she have already an album of this song.. and 1 more america got talent also.. this 4yr old gerl.. she is so cute and she sing so well.. she is now disney actress.. must catch her on tv...

and2.. this song is for u bby.. i always love u.. and i miss you so much... meet u soon syg...

2010-08-13T21:24:00.002+08:00

came back home early from school today... couldnt take it with my stomach cramps plus i feel super different now.. its like my temperature is going up and im having sore throat...haiz...
text boifren when i was in class just now.. i miss him so much...

haiz.. there she goes again... NOISE... NOISE... NOISE...
wat do you think? i was browsing my facebook and looking at the bags... and dad was just saying.. kakak bought a bag.. den am i going to buy a bag also?? i kept quiet and ignore.. there going mummy... make noise.. noise.. noise... arghh..

if u want it so much... i give u all.. so i werk... and give u everything and i dun anything or buy anything for myself ok????????????

2010-08-12T12:15:00.008+08:00

i got nothing to do before im going to werk today.. so after i have already finish getting ready to werk.. this is wat i do...

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TAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

I TOOK PICTURES OF MYSELF!!! HEHEHE

OH YES BEFORE THAT... GUESS WAT!!!!

BOIFREN CAUGHT TWO SNAKES TODAY... TAT IS WAT HE TOLD ME.. WOW... I TOT U SCARED TO TOUCH THOSE THINGS.. HEHEHE... BOIFREN SO BRAVE...HEHEHE... ok.. im off to werk now.. update sooonnn....

2010-08-11T19:49:00.002+08:00

I miss boifren so much... hmm.. before that.. today is the first day of all the muslim fasting.. here comes Ramadhan again...

so.. SELAMAT BERPUASE KEPADE SEMUA UMAT UMAT ISLAM DI SINGAPURA!

so back to my story.. yeah.. i miss boifren so much.. i really really want to meet him... but... looking at the time and also looking at the day.. its a fasting month and also if we were to meet after buka puase.. den its like.. very late already.. awaits for boifren to reply my msn now and also msg me at my phone.. haiz.. yesterday i werk for 11hrs.. den today.. my supervisor said y i didnt go home after my another supervisor who is on duty said i can go home.. haiz... im lazy to argue.. i told wats the truth and there u all dun believe me.. fine.. haiz... now my head is kinda headache and also i keep on sneezing.. tmr i will be handing my part time pay sheet to my supervisor.. haiz.. tmr i will be working afternoon.. den i werk morning again... wow... my eyes are so tired now.. haiz.. now on i need to cntrol my spending and so.. becoz alot of things need to be settle.. i couldnt think of anything to type.. im just so tired

2010-08-10T00:22:00.003+08:00

msg boifren just now about me.. IN THE BUS..omg.. dun want to elaborate more about it..

***** AMENDED BLOG POST FOR THE PREVIOUS PREVIOUS POST*****

i just realise something is not right in the post actually..
opppss something need to clarify clearly before someone really gets mad...

im sorry bby... its not wat u think... i was blur at the first place about the tag that u post..

i bukan nk busuk kn name u about wat u did and stuff.. yes u did hold my hand, u help me carry my bag, u hug me too... i just tat im saying about the past days onli.. its not every time... like i see u like kinda change.. u jgn salah faham.. mayb u tot it was about like everytime dulu kite jln2 same2 den u tk buat gitu.. no.. bkn... brape hari yg lalu jek nk masok seminggu.. tk ke u mcm realise yg i asik2 post mcm sedih2 gitu.. mayb u did or u did not about my blog.. mcm kite jln den i nk dkt2 ngn u.. den u tolak i la den u dun want me like touch u gitu.. i felt lain... its just past few days.. not everytime.. so.. jgn salah fhm ok.. i ttp syg u.. u are my NO 1 ALWAYS.. hehe... tk kn la i nk busuk kn name u kn... so... u salah fhm actually... got the picture now? u always care for me bby.. but i felt strange la.. everytime when i want go home rite... den if its pack with ppl.. i will be like very so stuffy easily den like.. headache headache.. hmm... padahal.. before go home.. i drink water first or i eat something first sey... haiz... once again.. i mintak maaf k.. jgn salah faham ok syg.. syg u alot..

2010-08-09T00:16:00.002+08:00

Thanks to boifren becoz he actually sent me back home via taxi yesterday... was plan that we want to take bus.. but i felt very not good at that moment.. so we take taxi home... boifren was very like.. clueless why suddenly i felt like vomitting.. he seem to be like scolding me.. saying that i wanted to go out somemore see wat happen.. but i told him its been since like yesterday i have been like this.. he saw me like wanting to vomit already.. he scold me again.. not as in really scold... but just make his voice a little bit higher...in the taxi.. lie down at his shoulder.. but i felt kinda strange.. so i sat properly... boifren pull me and i rested on his body... so i close my eyes.. like in a suddenly i cried.. i cried its becoz of the pain plus.. i cried becoz i miss him hug me and i miss him so much.. i didnt say to him.. i didnt noe how come he can feel that im crying at the first place.. hmmm...

but seriously deep in my heart i really miss him hug me, kiss me on my forehead, pamper me and not forgetting all those sweet reminder msgs... haiz...

i love you so much sayang..

2010-08-06T23:07:00.002+08:00

Just reached home from werk to school.. awaits for the bus which took very long.. it was full with ppl.. i took the 3rd bus.. my ezlink card again.. need to be top up... i didnt expect that i will be cramped in the middle with lots of ppl.. it was really stuffy in the bus.. i couldnt breathe any fresh air at all... inform boifren that the bus was stuffy and i felt weak at that moment.. but boifren doesnt seem to be replying my msg.. i hold on till i reached my bustop... haiz.. i felt like vomitting in the bus when i was at bukit panjang.. i hold on to it.. i dun have any sweets at all... my head was giddy and i can blackout at anytime.. wanted to msg boifren.. but.. he wont be replying.. he might be sleeping...haiz...walk slowly from the bustop till my house.. while walking the feeling of vomitting was there... i walk even slower.. walk and walk... reached under void deck.. quickly take the lift and walk to my house.. reached home.. straight away i go to the toilet.. called boifren after that.. but he didnt sleep at all.. he was watching tv.. he sounds angry.. so we hung up the phone... haiz...

i wonder.. if i could change my features like a chinese gerl or japanese gerl like wat boifren always like to see.. days by days.. everytime i went out with him...there must be something that always hurts me alot.. yeah.. i noe.. boifren like chinese gerls.. but... haiz... i wonder if i could change my face, the way i make up like them.. haiz.. i felt jealous at times whenever i see his frens with their gerlfrens or other couples we very happy with each other... it doesnt mean that im not happy with boifren.. wat i mean is the way the couple to each other.. so like... i dunnoe how to say... the boifren will hug the gerlfren while walking.. holding each others hand.. carry their bags... i noe boifren wont carry my bag of course.. when it comes to me and boifren... boifren will either push my hand away or he will ignore about it.. he will tend to do something.. take something out from his pocket or walk with his hand in the pocket... i want boifren to be like.. so pampered to me.. he hug me.. he holds my hand.. hmm...

i miss boifren so much... i wish i could meet him tmr.. if he doesnt meet me tmr.. it would be a long long day for me to wait to meet him.. syg i miss u alot.. i miss being so pampered with him... haiz..

2010-08-03T23:16:00.003+08:00

i miss his laughter
i miss his jokes and sillyness
i miss his hugs and kisses
i miss he gave me sweet msgs
i miss him playing gitar while we were otp
i miss talking to him till wee hrs
i miss looking at him playing his bass or electric gitar
i miss looking at him ransack my computer
i miss he sent me back home late at nite
i miss him playing with my hair
i miss him driving me ard
i miss him telling me stories
i miss holding his hand
i miss being pampered
i miss ABDUL MUHAIMIN SO MUCH

i felt so happy to meet u just now though its just for a while.. but i enjoy so much...
although he hurt my finger.. but im really happy..

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SYG...

2010-08-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

i will always love you boifren.. i always do...

2010-08-02T17:41:00.002+08:00

Last night i got a very shocking news from boifren.. i didnt noe that he was the one who is actually in that situation...coz usually he will say that he is bz and den he will tell me about wat he is attending to... i seriously didnt noe that u were the one who kene the accident yesterday...i was really really worried at werk after u tell me it was u.. i seriously didnt expect anything...i waited for u till u finished werk.. i wanted to meet u but u were tired.. but lucky u dun have any injuries at all.. but does ur leg and head hurt bby?is the impact really hard? haiz.. i was super worried.. reached home, i wait and wait for u.. i was awake every min to check whether u already finish werk or not... i couldnt sleep till u said u were at home.. i felt relieve.. im totally worried just now.. bby u have gd rest at home k.. u said ur leg is painful... please put some medications on it.. i hope u are fine dear.. i wanted to ask u follow me go eat awhile.. but u were tired.. yes.. i understand that..u have a really really gd rest at home syg... u said i dun kecian kn u.. i was so worried about u.. i seriously thought u were attending that accident... im sorry.. i was really really worried about u..

its been like days i did not get those lovely2 msg from boifren.. usually during nite time before i sleep i will get the nite2 kiss from him.. if not during our sms conversation he will say those words and i get be very pampered by him... but now.. he seem to be very harsh on me.. but at times he were like joking with me.. i just miss being pampered with him.. and then where we walk tgt or wat.. he will actually hug me by my waist and playing with my hair.. it seems now... when we walk.. we dun hold hand anymore.. when i want to touch him or something he would actually like push my hand away at times.. but boifren said im the one who is rude to him... no im not... u always make me want to cry and worried.. coz u will say about this and that.. haiz... i just miss u pampering me...
boifren is a very precious and special for me.. i really really love him so much.. no matter how he scold me, he say vulgar words to me and pinch me.. i still love him alot.. boifren was the one who change me alot.. he brighten up my life to let me see the good and the bad things.. whenever he start talking about 1 topic it come with a conclusion which can make me learn something.. boifren is also someone who i look like he is someone who is very fierce in the face.. but down in his heart... he did someone who like to be pampered too.. although he is kind of like a very harsh person.. but... i really really miss he pamper me and even having those kind of msgs that he always gave me everynite when i want go to sleep and during any of our conversation.. how i wish i could actually hug and kiss him here with me right now.. i felt so sad suddenly thinking about those times he pamper me and stuff.. *wiping tears* how i wish one day boifren will pamper me again and checked on me at times.. :(

i really really love you so much Abdul Muhaimin.Muaackzzz.

2010-08-01T15:12:00.003+08:00

yesterday boifren were like so angry with me till he said about 'breaking up'...haiz...he said if i make him irritate again.. den.. he will... haiz...
i off my laptop and straight went to bed.. i cried and cried till i cant breathe... i cover my body with my blanket and cry and cry again till i fell asleep after that.. i dreamt lots and lots of things.. haiz... my phone rang after that... saw that boifren called me.. he said he is hungry... met him at his place and we eat prata... he said my face like wat... like of course la.. i cried the whole entire night syg... i feel so sad.. i dun dare to open my mouth to talk about yesterday with him... in the bus i was praying really hard that nothing happen today when i meet him.. i felt so scared and worried... but lucky nothing happens today... haiz...

we went to tea tarik at jurong near his werk place and eat... the nescafe that he wants was super very pahit skali... hmm...
but today we will be werking night shift together.. how i wish we will be werk the same shift everytime.. its feel so great... i dun need to think about when can meet him this and that...

boifren.. ily so much.. im sorry if i irritate u yesterday.. u make me worried.. tats y i txt u alot and asking u the same question over and over again...bby.. deep in my heart i really really love u so much...

off to sleep now..

2010-07-31T21:34:00.003+08:00

im so damn tired today..

my supervisor said im so mean with her.. hahaha... no im not... she is just so demanding.. fucking irritating.. why always me.. there is other ppl in the department... there is more than 8... why must be me... its going to be my going home time.. she said she will mark me.. how do i care.. u are the one who is going up wat just now.. u nvr even ask me to go up... wth... always me... it doesnt mean im the youngest there u want me to do everything.... watever shit...

tmr same shift with boifren.. yay so i will not bored..hehe

haiz....

boifren was ok just now.. den suddenly... haiz... i dun want to talk abt it...
he was ok earlier..but...suddenly... haiz

2010-07-30T22:54:00.002+08:00

yay.. meet boifren just now after werk.. i feel so happy to meet him just now.. i miss him so much.. i feel like hugging and kissing him...but... since the day boifren told me something.. everything like different.. when we walk.. he dun let me touch him... i wanted to hold his hand but he didnt even let me too...
is he training me on something?? or.. haiz..why cant this thing goes slowly?
boifren told me that im being rude to him.. im not.. its onli that.. u always make me angry and heart pain.. u said this and that.. den.. it makes me said all those things.. if u didnt make me angry, i wont be like that.. u are the one who is always like being rude to me.. haiz... my hand is so painful.. boifren pinched me alot of times at the same spot...lucky nvr blueblack..hmm.. but.. why everything goes different? haiz..

2010-07-30T00:12:00.003+08:00

i hate when this feeling comes.. haiz.. i dun like...

hati sungguh tk sedap skali... knape ni... haiz...

where is boifren.. i call.. i msg... but... whenvever he pick up.. he is like angry.. tk salah kn kalau call.. i onli call him about.. nearly 6 plus in the afternoon.. and after that i didnt even like call.. and i txt him like aft 7pm... i didnt respond to some of my msg and didnt even pick up my call... i call alot of time.. and he reject my calls.. i tot he was sleeping.. but he was not... he said he was talking to his uncle.. but... usually when he have conversation with his uncle.. he would like actually inform me or even reply my msgs.. he will at least tell me or talk to me.. but this time.. it was strange.. very strange.. haiz...
first thing first i got shock to see those ppl that he added in his facebook.. im tired of nagging and nagging about it.. but still he said ok2 wont do it again... again he did it again.. i wonder does he noes what do i feel? some might be his frens.. but... haiz... must i nag again? i dun like when this things happen or boifren talk about gerls or clubbing when i was at werk.. i cant concentrate especially when its in a very high occupancy.. alot of calls.. alot of complains this and that.. haiz.. and if i didnt do things right... im the one who always get the scolding..

i dun liike this feeling... wat is boifren doing.. i dun feel good.. wat he say issit true?? now i got a msg from him he said that dun disturb him first..haiz.. wat is he doing? is he on the phone or wat.. it makes me want to msg him more or call him alot... he said he didnt online... but looking at my msn now.. he is online... which one is true?? i seriously dun like this feeling... i will be working morning tmr... boifren pls msg or call me at least now.. i dun feel good... i dun like this feeling... it makes me cry...haiz.. in the bus im holding the tears back.. i told boifren i dun feel good.. but he didnt even reply me.. is he at home or where?? i dun think so if he will be reading this now.. can i msg him now.. can i call him??

tk suke skali..i dun like this feeling... those negative things comes.. my feelings is not easy.. i dunnoe why.. i will always have wierd feelings if something is not right.. den if i said this and that to boifren.. he will start to shout at me.. say vulgar words to me.. wat i say is from my feelings itself.. haiz.. where are u? wat are u doing? wat u tell me issit the truth? u talking to ur uncle? i seriously hate this feeling..

2010-07-28T23:40:00.002+08:00

Just finish watching Cinta Fitri 3.. I tell u its super damn sakit hati...da sakit hati tkpe.. sedih... tu normal la kn.. hehe...but the ending is super not gd.. as there would be Cinta Fitri 4 coming up... must watch the first episode.. cant miss it.. haiz.... while watching cinta fitri.. from wat i understand from that story.....

selain drp balas dendam, gile harta.. ade bende lain sebaleknye.. ade org kate.. cite indonesia ni semua jln cerita nye same.. balek2 balas dendam and gile harta.. ya of course ade this couple yg bahagia, happy.. ade jek org tk suke.. but i ever wonder... ade tk dlm hidup ni same mcm cite2 mcm ni?? wat do u think... for me.. cite cinta fitri ni semua ade pelajaran sebaleknye... (chey mcm bagus jek) hehe... if me.. i think... i want to have my life is happy like fitri and farel.. they have gone through alot of miserables but their love is very strong... but...

saye bersyukur kerana saye amat bahagia di samping matair ku yg selalu berkerje keras utk bertanggung jawab terhadap keluarganya dan juga ada kan masa untuk bersamaku... (mane nye bagus jek melayu... hehe...jgn get irritated suda org2 yg bace... sori)

boifren is a very great person.. although at times he said this and that which could make me cry in a sudden.. but i trust him.. he is a very great person.. im lucky to have him with me.. he is very patient.. but if waiting for me to get ready or wat.. he is not la... hehehe... i like to see if we are having some problems.. i admire the way he talk to me and we settle things together.. he might be saying very harsh words and he might be look so angry... in my heart i am scared to be rude to him.. bt he is a very nice person.. he may look like he doesnt care at all.. but.. at certain times.. he may show how protective and caring he is..im really really really bersyukur (dlm bahase english ape ehk?) having him to be with me..

therefore boifren.. u dun kembang or watsoever ok.. i noe u will be busy this week and nxt mth.. i really really looking forward to meet u dear.. i really really miss u.. having u with me is the most happiest thing i ever had.. ily so much syg..
do have enuf rest after your shift.. we might be meeting aft ur midnight shift.. but.. have a great rest and enuf sleep ok dear.. syg u bby...

i have some feelings to change myself.. but i just dunnoe where to start...

2010-07-27T22:00:00.002+08:00

Just now went to bank to do new account for myself... start saving from the scratch again...hmmm.. but half way when i want to put in the money, the atm doesnt want to accept the money.. stupid machine...

just came back from sheng siong..funny funny story.. a makcik teach me how to choose a right fish.. i got so shock.. coz i was playing picking up the fish.. i pick up from the tail.. one good lesson i learn from her..

now im waiting for boifren to call me when he finish his work.. hmm.. i wonder.. he is so busy today.. how about tmr... haiz..

imy boifren..and and ilyt...

2010-07-26T19:10:00.003+08:00

Just came back from Jurong Point.. treat boifren at Swensen for his second bdae treat.. he saw some of the staff singing happy bdae to the person.. he said why he didnt get it...hehee... that was wat i plan d other day.. but since we went to genting.. i cancle off the plan.. but since he said that he dun like it to be happen.. so i kept quiet.. he ate chicken baked rice and as for me, i ate chicken breaded.. hmmm.. and we both had our desserts too... super full now...

currently watching mexico vs korea soccer match for gerls.. kinda funny actually.. some with long hair.. hehehe..hmmm...but now korea is leading 2-0...

oh no.. boifren told me something just now... i need to slowly think and have myself change... meaning.. if i... hmmm.. nvrm.. clarify with him later.. hmmm
i still remember about my dream yesterday.. boifren made me a song titled.. mimpi..... something something i forget... its a very sad song.. when i woke up.. i cried.. hmmm..

feels kinda tired now.. mayb too much of things to think of and.. haiz.. like i said in the previous post.. something haunts me down day by day... haiz..
how i wish... im having a holiday with boifren again..

2010-07-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

Starting tmr or the day after boifren will be having a very hectic schedule due to YOG and also National Day..my roster will be the same and i will be having off during boifren 2nd day off.. i took it in case he is free and can meet me... pray hard that he wont be that busy and wont be so tired..

went to watch ong bak 3 just now.. i noe boifren was really tired.. i feel bad actually.. upon stepping inside lot 1 boifren said that he is tired and i nvr think about him at all.. i feel really really bad.. i told him.. lets go home.. but he ask me to keep quiet.. i shut my mouth and we walk to the movie theatre...so when we reach at level 5 i guess... its was so crowded.. i told boifren.. if the movie is full.. we watch it tmr.. but boifren told me tmr he cant cnfirm as he might be having recall.. so we proceed to watch the movie.. reach inside..i can see that he is taking a nap for a while..haiz.. lucky duirng the movie he was awake and concentrating on the movie.. but.. after a while nearly to the end of the movie he was asleep.. i can see his eyes is so small already... he didnt sleep since yesterday.. he was on his midnight shift yesterday and he went back home early to go visit a funeral.. he did fetch me over my workplace.. but i meet him at shaw.. now my watch is giving me problem.. i need to go to the watch shop and replace something.. haiz...

boifren must be asleep now.. pity him.. i really felt bad through out the movie.. haiz..
im sori syg.. i ask u to come with me watch movie.. i noe nxt time we can watch too.. im so so so sori.. ily alot dear.. have good rest ok.. i meet u tmr if u dun have any recall.. i felt so cnfused this days bby... im sori if i trouble u alot.. i dunnoe why.. but i felt so confused.. i noe u have ur family problems too.. i dunnoe why something is haunting me through out this week.. at night i cant really sleep.. and my appetite is not there.. it really haunting me day by day.. i felt easy when u are around me.. i do felt like different if i want to hold ur hand or touch u, u will be like pushing my hand away.. haiz.. this thing really haunts me alot..bby.. i really love u alot syg.. i really do..

haiz.. i dunnoe... im still thinking about the full time job in hyatt.. should i accept or not.. or should i just stay part time as my pay is much more than wat full time gets.. boifren allow me to werk full time in hyatt.. its just that me.. i have to either accept it or not.. haiz.. boifren cant make decision for me.. i need to do it myself.. i have his permission already.. now is the decision making.. YES OR NO???

i feel so stress where something haunts me down and about this full time job, den about my family, den.. haiz.. i have to cut down on my shopping already... i think.. no more shopping for me anymore..

pls give me strength to go through this.. i dun want this to haunts me down day by day.. i dun want to give more stress to boifren as he have alot of responsibility to do and he have enuf stress with his werk and family...

2010-07-23T19:32:00.002+08:00

Wat a very pathetic meal i had today...

i onli had 1 piece of coconut bread and a packet of keropok ikan.. hmmm..

awaits for tmr 4.30pm or late for my dinner time at werk..

its hard if mummy now always come back home late and daddy is werking extra hard to find more money.. daddy have been helping out at the bicycle shop in a secret manner.. and he didnt even tell us anything.. daddy is werking extra hard now.. while mummy.. haiz... lucky kakak went back home straight today after werk.. she bring back the bread for me.. now.. i felt hungry.. need to save more money and no more shopping spree for me... food and drinks is on our own now.. hopefully everything will goes fine in the future... haiz..

my heart sank when everytime im thinking about this.. about wat boifren told me yesterday i sticks to my mind..

i love u always boifren.. i really really do....

2010-07-23T13:43:00.002+08:00

Yesterday i got shock when kakak called me and asking where am i.. she sounds angry a little bit.. i told her tat im at lot 1 with boifren and his sister.. kakak told me that my uncle 'cik wadi' wants to meet us.. im wondering wat issit all about.. so i followed boifren went to the library to meet his mum there.. after slacking at the library for a while, me and boifren took the same bus.. but boifren went straight back home with his sister while i drop at my aunties house..meet my sister under the void deck with my auntie.. i asked wat issit about actually...auntie told us its about mum and dad.. haiz... i knew it from the start... so me and sister went up to auntie house meet my uncle.. while auntie went to werk straight... before reaching auntie house.. outside her neighbour house, there is a cat which is big and i didnt even saw the cat at all.. kakak shout and i accidentally kick the cat... ooppss.. sori cat... laugh and laugh.. and we reach at auntie house... put our things down and then start the conversation.. talk and talk.. laugh and laugh... nenek was there to join the conversation.. overall.. it is just a reminder for us... thats all....

so now onwards...i have to do all this things if im having my day off...

1) wash all the utensils
2) vacuum the house
3) make my bed
4) clean my room
5) laundry
6) makesure everything is clean before i can step out the house
7) cant bring boifren back home again to chill

haiz.. this is wat i need to do to makesure we are right and mum is wrong.. so she cant even find our fault at home anymore.. hopefully everything goes fine..

i feel so sad after wat boifren told me yesterday.. i kept thinking about it.. i dun want that to happen.. haiz.. mummy pls change ur behaviour... i hate it when u are like this.. i dun feel easy when everything is like this.. haiz.. why must everything goes like this? my mind is everywhere now.. but the main point is.. i really really scared of what boifren told me yesterday.. i kept running through my mind.. haiz..

bby.. i feel so sad when u said like that to me..i noe u cant blame me.. but.. haiz.. i feel so scared.. i feel so....haiz.. :(

i feel hungry right now.. i have been eating this keropok ikan from just now and im walking here and there do hang the laundry and keep the house clean.. haiz..

i should save money from now onwards.. save more than wat i have been saving..

2010-07-22T14:02:00.018+08:00

A trip to Genting Highlands from 19 July 2010 till 21 July 2010

19 July 2010

Woke up in the morning at about 4.45am get ready for our trip.. About 5.30am called boifren to wake him up.. Check all my things and off i go to his house meet him before we proceed to Boon Lay Shopping Centre.. Its already 6.30am but still no taxi is available.. wait and wait.. about 6.45am we took the taxi and proceed to the reporting area.. awaits for the FIVE STAR TOURS to open and we get all the things and took the bus that is provided.. the bus is nice.. like wat boifren said.. its 2 storeys.. hehe.. 7.30am sharp the bus moved off from boon lay shopping centre and we head to second link checkpoint... it was super fast becoz there isnt any jam at all... after chop our passport there we go straight to genting highlands.. we slept like nobody business in the bus after we finish watch IP Man in the bus.. the bus driver on the dvd so we watch it... pit stop at yong peng.. bought some food but we dun really eat that much.. dunnoe why we dun have much appetite to eat... reached KL have our toilet break.. snap just 1 pic at that moment.. reached at the bottom of genting highlands.. there we go round and round and round... i got some headache.. as for boifren he was having stomachache... hmm... he asked me when will we be reaching.. looking up... its still high up there... showed boifren where is the top building.. in the bus its getting colder and colder... reached the top... we drop from the bus... i smiled as we finally reached... my head is still headache...walked towards the hotel lobby for us to check in... but we need to go to another place to check in... waited and waited... finally its our turn to check in.. get our room keys and off we go to the room... its nine floor... and its super cold... put our things down, get change and we went down to the shopping place... but before that the scenary from our room is super nice... its the theme park view.... hehe... so yes... we went to the shopping plaza... den walk around and looking wat are the things that we want to buy... walk and walk.. boifren felt so down at that moment... he was sick... he is having fever... his temperature is so high.. so walk slowly here and there... boifren decided to go for massage... he did some reflexology and shoulder massage... i sat at the sofa and look at his reaction only... i dun do any massage at all.. hmm.. everything ends about nearly 1030pm... i bought bags at that moment... and after everything... we go to coffee bean bought some cakes and drinks and off to our room... boifren couldnt take it anymore.. gave him some medicine and he was asleep... i cant sleep at that moment as boifren keep waking up... woke him up to give his panadol but he cant wake up... i slept nearly 2am i guess.. i was watching tv and i felt asleep after that... before we went shopping that day.. i was unpacking my things and boifren was asking for his bdae present.. i said i didnt bring.. but he took my bag.. and took out everything.. and he found it... damn.. no more surprise...haiz...

20 July 2010

It was boifren birthday... boifren wake me up and asked me wat time i sleep last night... told him everything.. wished him happy birthday too... checked his temperature.. his fever was stable at that moment... asked him to bathe and we go eat after that... chill for a while and we go shopping again...this time we like shop abit and off to our room coz boifren was so weak... im thinking and thinking wat to do... went to watson bought eno.. which is the wrong medicine... and den we walk and walk... we bought some shirt for his dad and sister... bought for himself and myself too... i carry all those stuff and back to the room... i was super tired too... boifren body is so damn hot... i mean as in his temperature is high... lucky he is weak.. he still can walk and shop at the same time... let boifren have a rest first and den we go out again... we tot of going to the theme park.. i mean the outdoor.. it was raining heavily at that moment... so we just walk and take a look... it was super cold..boifren is wearing 3 layers of shirt... he felt ok... looking at the temperature its 17 degree... at night is much more worst.. its 14 degree... tot of going to the snow world but its minus 8 degree.. so we dun go in... meet his fren over there and went to play snooker at night... after 1 game finish.. i see boifren is very weak already.. back to room and gave boifren some activefast panadol and he is perspiring already... i felt relieve as his fever is going down really fast.. make him some hot tea as well... he felt fine after that..not forgetting walking towards the outdoor theme park was super cold.. couldnt take it with the cold..

21 July 2010

Woke up about 8.30am but reschedule the time woke up at 9.30am.. get up shower and have some food to eat at marybrown.. the food was nice.. looking outside it was super cold but its only 22 degree... looking at boifren he was feeling fine... and active at that moment... good to see him like that... i felt giddy and my body temperature going up... but i dun bother about it and keep on going shopping as we dunnoe wat to do with the money.. we both bought diesel jeans and its time for us to check out... the bus will be there at about 1430hrs.. so check in and search for the bus.. search and search.. no where to be found.. hmm... wait and wait... we were the last one to bought the bus... hmmm... off the bus goes its super damn fast the bus reached at the bottom of genting.. my ear was super painful... we had some pitstop.. we walk around and take a look at the things.. expensive... so went up back to the bus.. we slept till the nxt pitstop i guess.. to cut it short we reached singapore about 2230hrs...

the feeling of 3days 2night was super fast...feel like going holiday again with boifren.. now both of us feels like dun want to go werk... having a long2 leave is great but go back to werk is like so tiring... being with him all the way was super great.. only that he was sick at that moment.. love him alot... that was the first trip me and boifren were out from singapore.. hopefully more and more trips in the future.. not all pictures is uploaded.. its too many... oh yes.. not forgetting... once again...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOIFREN.. ILY ALOT.. ALTHOUGH YOUR BIRTHDAY WASNT THAT REALLY GREAT FOR U, U WERE REALLY SICK ON THAT DAY.. BUT I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THE GENTING TRIP..

2010-07-16T23:39:00.002+08:00

weeks by weeks i have been counting down... im very excited and really cant wait for the day me and boifren will be going genting together for the first time.. i hope this holiday trip will be fun and memorable for us... :)

tmr will be my midnight shift.. and den its my day off.. off off off off off... hehehe...

cant wait cant wait cant wait... *jumpjump around the house*

but of course.. we went there as it boifren bdae too on the 20th July...

this would be kinda different bdae celebration for him this year.. last year... we celebrate it in singapore... this year at genting highlands... but... some surprise coming up for him... ooppssss.... hehehe... ok... cant reveal anything more.. boifren will read this post.. like of course...

2010-07-13T00:25:00.003+08:00

Early morning called boifren.. tot of calling him like about early morning.. coz i have a tot of meeting him just now... but unfortunately, when i called.. he sounds angry.. he was outside at that moment... he went to the doctor with his mum... haiz.. wat a day to start... i tot boifren will be normal... but... he's not... den the way he msg me and talk to me kinda...DIFFERENT... i just kept quiet and didnt asked anything... i noe he will scream and shout at me... i kept quiet get ready and went to werk... i tried my luck to msg him and see whether he reply me or not... he did reply..reached work, i tried to call him... but he sounds some how ok... but still have that angry tone... so i hung up after a while...

during work was the worse.. 1 by 1 make nonesense.. im the onli one who pick up the most calls.. and i need to do alot of things... i have ulcer at right at the back of my tongue.. i couldnt talk tat alot... but.. haiz... i hold on to the pain.. and keep on doing my job.. i did complain to boifren about some of it.. but.. as usual... he will say just ignore it.. i didnt say much... if i were to say many2 things, he will start angry again.. hopefully tmr will be a smooth day for me.. i really had a bad bad day.. but boifren was not like normal... i cant say alot.. coz i noe he will give me 1 answer tat i noe he will say tat is.. "U NI MANJE SANGAT AR" that is wat he will say to me.. so all i have to do is keep quiet and keep to myself...

oh yes... forget to blog about saturday outing with boifren.. though we dun have any plans at all.. we walk from far east to city hall to watch fireworks.. thanks to lyana for letting me noe that there is fireworks going on... if not.. we dun have that idea to go and chill there awhile before the fireworks start... didnt shop anything.. onli bought some famous amos as boifren wants it so much.. bought it at wisma and den we walk slowly and talk... it reminds me about last time where me and boifren will be walking all the way from town to anywhere... i really have great great day with him... its been long since we walk tat far together.. :)

our trip to genting will be in a few days time and i have yet to think of what to bring and stuff.. i think during my off day i will do everything.. boiofren for sure do all last minit... hmm...

boifren wats wrong with u yesterday? haiz...

i feel so hungry now... i couldnt eat and drink... haiz.. i force to eat.. but i couldnt.. see how.. its is so painful... no money to spent on something soft to eat.. wait for my dinner time at work onli..

2010-07-06T21:26:00.003+08:00

last night i cant sleep...after a while i keep waking up and i dreamt alot of stupid things...

was messaging boifren last night about his pm at facebook... he wrote there "guitars are much more fun that ur girlfriend". i was shock when i see those words on his facebook... i read all his comments... i felt so sad... i asked him lots of question but he dun really reply me back... i cried.. coz im shock...boifren onli say "u ni tk leh kene sikit ar" so i kept quiet and dun ask anything about it... but i cant stop him anything.. because guitar is his interest... he love music and he love guitars... as guitars is a non living thing... he strums and music came out from it... as for me... im a living thing, he can meet me, talk to me... and everything... not much of comparision though.. while msging him and crying... i fell asleep... but i woke up after an hour... haiz... i dreamt i dun wake him up for his training today... i got scolding from him as usual... i suddenly woke up look at the time its onli 4am... sleep back and check my phone there isnt any msg from him... so at 7.30am i called him... but he reject my call..he always did that... i noe... thats how i wake him up every morning except during those days that we want to go out or not he will pick up the call... wake him up every 15mins till 8am.. i felt so scared that boifren wont be talking to me... im scared he is still mad at me... but he is not... he txt me about 1pm just now to check where am i coz im out to ica building to collect my passport... it was super fast like im there taking a walk... just sit down and its my turn already..kakak was there accompany me... the journey at first was ok... but after awhile i felt like my money was gone... haiz... waste money going from lavender to bugis by taking mrt...haiz... nvrm... eat at tong seng... den walk at bugis junction, bugis street... but kakak bought me crabtree and evelyn hand lotion...i like it so much... so aft walking there, we went to lot1 as i want to check on the travel thingy... so went dbs first... kakak wants to enquire something... so followed her... she was the one who ask me change my atm card... so boifren dun get it wrong ok... she is the one...

so after asking this and that at that wts travel agency... as usual.. kakak and her comments... she said boifren dunnoe how to walk here and there at KL.. so we dun need to go... i told boifren the whole entire story... boifren look so angry...he talk everything to me... i noe boifren is a person who is a very good explorer where he like to walk here and there... though i will be with him onli 2 person, he will take care of me.. i dun feel scared at all... coz the first time he rent a car, he bring me here and there... i can see the confidence in him...boifren is someone who will actually research first before he go to the place... so after i research this and that, like finally we decide to go genting highlands...txt boifren about the price and boifren finally replied saying that he want me to meet him at jurong point.. met him at jurong point at about 6 plus.. im late...becoz of the bus... super jln lembab... den walk here and there... i felt so thirsty...we walk up to the travel agency... take a look and den i took the number and wait for the queue number to be called.. wait and wait.. mean while talk to boifren about earlier on when i was with my sister going to ica building... he did comments this and that... i think if kakak were to follow us to genting... boifren wont have a very good time... coz kakak will want to go to most places like luxury places.. i will be there looing at her shopping and i will stand outside the shop...haiz...so already book our genting trip.. and i cant wait for it... must set aside some money... and must check my money coz its my pay day tmr.. yippie... boifren must be fast asleep now.. coz he will be working morning tmr...

no matter wat muhaimin... i nvr even think of leaving u... i nvr even have the feeling of leaving u... u scold me, u say vulgar words to me, u make me cry, u make me think so much about something u said to me, u look at other gerls etc... i will still love u and i will nvr leave u... 1 thing im just afraid of... u leaving me.. that is wat im afraid of... i love u will all my heart.. u make me realise everything... u change me.. u protect me, u pamper me.. i dun think there would be a reason for me to leave u.. tk pernah terfikir smp ke situ pn... i noe ur job is very dangerous.. im worried too.. i felt easy whenever u txt me during work time.. i sayang u very much... u might sometimes say that u cant believe that im with u now.. coz we were friends last time.. yes i noe we are friends.. at first i was shock too... but now.. i really really love u so much.. bby.. i tau u kasar.. care u bbl.. care kite gurau.. u are kasar.. but i still can accept u bby...

i took 2 hrs to finish this thing.. :)

2010-07-05T21:54:00.002+08:00

boifren was suppose to accompany me to ICA Building tomorrow to collect my passport...but unfortunately, he have inservice.. so he cant make it... i have to go on my own... haiz... my appointment will be at 1330hrs.. im not sure which level will that be.. and how or where to start with by collecting my passport... usually someone would actually follow me... hmm... just see how i survive in ICA building alone... maybe after collecting i will be going to lot 1 to have a last check of the KL trip.. have it reserved and on saturday will book it..boifren have already agreed.. so ya.. we will be having a kl trip in 2 weeks time...

i wonder is he sleeping, eating or watching tv.. waiting for him to reply my msn, hp msg or return call to me... lets see which one he will reply... meet him just now.. but we went to eat.. walk here and there at jurong point, buy some stuff from popular and also bought him famous amos.. as he wants it so much.. i dun buy as i dun have money...but its ok...

haiz.. why am i always want to complaint about this and that.. hmmm.. i better keep quiet and keep it to myself..

2010-07-04T19:50:00.003+08:00

last night boifren make me so damn angry and sad... haiz... he kept saying about clubbing... look the way he is...*look up* i like the way he is like that rather then him change his genre for clubbing... boifren does change frm wat i realise.. haiz... last time he always talk about rock songs.. he will say about guitars, about bands.. and also story about all those rock things... but now... there isnt anymore.. i noe he nvr dress up anymore like that... now he ask me about katy perry, about clubbing songs, about all those artist... in his ipod even have those kind of songs that i listen to, last time he always said to me... "u.. pls.. ur songs are so irritating" he does not even want to listen to any of it when i ask him listen to my mp3... he change... he really2 change... last time he doesnt even like say so harsh word to me... i noe... 1year plus is so long which we spent time tgt alot of time... and i noe much things have already change... but pls...dun change to someone new... i like the way u are... u being protective, u care, u even find some evil time to be with me when u are very busy or cant go out.. i noe u having a stable job now.. our timing are different... we work shift now... onli 1 day or 2 days we can meet each other during ur off days..but.. i miss those times where u rush to meet me and bring me to the doctor, u sneak out to have some time with me... i noe, i nag alot last night.. i just want u to noe the reason why.. i want u to noe how i feel... but still... u said the same way... i told u everything... haiz.. when i said abit u will be like... i lazy to talk to me... u dun like me to be nagging at u.. but y u making me like this? u said i dun think about u... but then wats all this? all those post im writing.. have some small little notes for u to noe... for u to check and see everyday... isnt this an evidence that im thinking about u every single day? i noe i dun post like everyday... but isnt it like i will at least update something to let u noe everything?there goes again me nagging and nagging... i just feel sad... i just need u to understand me... understand my feelings... u might be joking2 with me at times.. yes i noe... hmmm...

i sayang u ok... muaackkzz...meet u soon...i miss u

2010-07-01T00:57:00.001+08:00

"was suppose to post this like about 2 days ago.."

i felt relieve after kakak came back from kl...its not that i cant share anything with boifren...yes i do...i can...but he is not with me when im at home...he is sick too..he is injured...so i dun want disturb him that much..lucky boifren have already recover now after 2 days of mc... i sent him to this chinese medical shop.. he is there like cacing kerawit coz he is in pain... didnt get to eat my ben and jerry.. nxt time will do... hmm... i felt like crying looking him like that... i did cry la actually in the bus when he ask me to go home... i cry its because im thinking about at home and also about him... i felt bad...i feel like its me who makes his hand really pain till he is like that... but i didnt told him that im crying coz its about him...but instead i told him its about i dun want to go home...haiz...

so....

today, 2nd july 2010... its a 2nd day of a new month...another 18 more days to boifren's bdae... im getting headache... coz i need to save money and also... i need to save money too... i have to help boifren...but his bdae... i have plan something..want to noe wat issit?? boo hoo... cannot tell... its a secret... i have some plans la... but i dunnoe whether this thing will help or not....i hope it will works... like i wat i surprise boifren like few days ago without his knowing...i came his house to pass him food as he is sick... didnt get to meet him but i felt better when i got to give him something that he can recover soon... hmmm... everytime when me and boifren go out, we will always listen to songs via his ipod... but he will gave me listen to different songs from his ipod... some songs i got in love with till im addicted to it.. but some im not really into it... i will onli go home and check out the song and read the lyrics wat issit about... usually malay rock songs.. it have lots of meaning... boifren teach me so... yeah... i noe some songs the lyrics this and that... so just now in the bus when we were otw back homr from cathay after eating our ben and jerry... like finally! boifren play this song HATIKU KEKAL PADAMU BY MUS.. it was suppose to be a chinese song by VINCENT LEE NI DAO DI AI SHUI... so i check out the song and listen to it carefully... it was about a person who is really love this person, and in the end the person was left all alone... i can cry listening to that song... its very sad... try listen to it... so i ask boifren about this song... and ask a few general question about some songs... i always have a negative thinking whenever he let me listen to this kind songs...haiz... i dunnoe why... mayb boifren always kept saying the name...boifren always story about this and that... so... i felt so... i dunnoe... i felt so sad... its like he still love her.. and he is like comparing between me and her... i noe im different like wat boifren said to me earlier when we were spending time together... i felt sensative but i have to hide it... i have to be strong... boifren words are very sharp at times... if i say abit different... we can start quarrel... haiz... i always try to get away from boifren saying those names and also story about this and that as in about past... it feel so hurtful... hearing the name can make me go crazy... haiz...

i love u alot syg... but pls... i noe u at times gurau2 with me... but at times... ur words are too sharp and makes me think negatively... haiz...ape tah lagi bile part u ckp ngn i pmpn ni lawa...pmpn tu lawa den u start to compare2 me and them... i noe i dun have good body, pretty face... i noe u like chinese gerls... haiz... nvrm...have good rest and recover soon...

2010-06-29T21:20:00.002+08:00

I HAVE ENOUGH... I HAVE ENOUGH OF ALL OF UR SHIT... I DUN GIVE A DAMN TO WAT U WANT TO SAY...

U trying to talk to me... but wat...by saying all those... u said i dunnoe how to clean my room...u said i onli noe how to dress up myself...going out is all i noe...wat the fuck...im going out to find money...u bloody shit... i find my own pocket money...i work overtime to find more money...wat do u think im going out and finish werk so late is becoz i want to have fun...ehk fuck...if i onli noe how to go out without finding money a single cent at all... i understand...but now...i go out find money...and i go out, shopping with my own money...have i ever ask u for money anymore?? no rite...so..just keep your mouth shut...every month...i gave u money...i gave u less u make such a very big thing in the family... u compare me and kakak... but look... my job is not like kakak...im working PART TIME... NOT FULL TIME...DO U UNDERSTAND?? WHICH PART OF THE WORD U DUN UNDERSTAND...????

i kept quiet... i nvr talk back to wat u said to me...u said this and that... fine...u say wat u wanna say...like just now...u ask that to ask me where i buy that chewy junior... u think i nvr hear to wat u said? u said loud and clear behind me somemore...im like a PERFECT STRANGER in this house... kakak is away from singapore for the last 3 days 2 nights...haiz... now im seating here on the sofa quietly...and the at the other end saying this and that...i kept quiet... i listen to wat she say... i dun want to be 'kurang ajar'...once i open my mouth...there...it will go a world war 3 at home...for sure...i will be kick out from the house... i noe she doesnt want to see my face anymore... i dun have anymore strength and im not strong enuf...

bby... i noe...u worried im doing some stupid things... i promised u...i wont do stupid things k... i just dun have anymore strength to hold on this anymore... i feel too stress... i feel too much for this... kakak is away... im alone here... i onli have u... u are the one who always stop me frm this and that... i think if i dun have u here...i have run away from home... i dun have the heart to stay here anymore...u are the one who encourage me to come home...just sit at home... kept quiet and let them say what they want... haiz....
sori syg... i didnt tell u about me meeting ur sister earlier just now... i wanted to meet u...but u sound angry and tired... so i secretly call adek and ask her meet me at the bustop...coz i knew u were sleeping at that moment of time... i was shock when u text me right away when adek just walk away...so u were shock rite syg... although im stress... i think about u too...ur heath...u recover or not.. im worried about u too...so i bought ur favourite chewy junior... i noe u will like it... make sure u eat it ok...

thanks to my colleagues in hyatt giving some advice to me...especially kak nor, kak liza and hajar..

2010-06-27T00:46:00.003+08:00

our bangkok trip is off...now planning for the genting and KL trip...

now waiting for the ppl who will be going have their leave approve or not...as for boifren he will noe at the end of the mth....so im just waiting...i dunnoe where to go if kak liza husband didnt get any off day at all...

my plan for the bangkok trip is gone...i need to think for a new one at kl...if kl also gone...haiz...

go where? langkawi? desaru? tioman? bintan?

haiz...

all i want is to be with boifren, we release stress..we happy with each other...at least spent quality time tgt...but now...haiz...will plan further with boifren

2010-06-23T22:09:00.002+08:00

haiz.. i dun want to complain...but i have too...

boifren just stepped out from my house... he went and meet his cousin... i dunnoe to where...i asked him...i asked him again and again...but he kept quiet.. i was thinking the whole entire hours that he is at my house... i feel like sad...he nvr tell me.. when he said he want to go off...i was like...feel worried...where is he going...

sejak kebelakangan ni... bile part balek kerje mlm jek... mesti i have the feeling that he will tell me...he want to go out... true enough...he did.. balek kerje mlm, mlm mesti kluar... mcm da berubah...dulu tk mcm ni...den kebelakangan ni jugak...da dgr lagu no rock anymore like he used to..but those song that i listen to.. i noe everybody change...but why must he change like this...btol ke ape org kate da masok bidang baru mesti prangai berubah...ade berubah drp baik smp naik club la..ni..entah la... i realise that he always go out at night... bile tanye gi mane...he will say byk bende... its not that i dun want to percaye...but...those words...always make me worried...makes me feel so..i dunnoe... u said about gerls..going here and there...i have a feeling too...like today...i wanted to spent time with u till tmr...but...u went off...u said u want to go watch soccer...when i ask u alot of times...u kept quiet...i dun want irritate u... u not like this before...going out at night always...i tau org u tk suke kluar mlm...tapi...skg...haiz...

i feel like u change... u change to someone else... i noe u did check on me as usual...but.. in other way... u change... seriously...i felt so sad...u became like this... u bbl pn kasar skg...i seriously sad u change... look...i still cant forget about that thing...and it always makes me think that u hide something frm me and u.....haiz...nvrm...i dun want say much...before anything u say about me...i tk nk u salah fhm...and i dun want to quarrel with u...

2010-06-21T22:31:00.002+08:00

Like finally i got to watch karate kid.. Thanks to boifren u really walk fast to the movie theater and right on time we bought the ticket and the door is open for us to go in and take our seat... we sat really far behind and its at the side...i dun really like to seat at the side but the view is kinda good...so i dun complain at all...the show is really long...show time was 6.50 but it ends about 9.30pm...hmmm...its a really nice show i can say...but funny thing is boifren talk so loud in the movie theater...and one of the part the ppl in the movie was clapping their hands go that kid won the competition...as if they are really watching the kid in the actual competition...

I didnt sleep the whole entire day when we go and watch the movie...i just couldnt sleep... i work midnight the day before and i finish werk at 7am on sunday...so i change and then i went back home...when i was in the bus, kakak call me asking where am i...i inform her and she ask me to wait at blk 26 as she want to bring me for breakfast...so i wait and wait...they were so late...i can sleep at the bustop...so went to eat and then reach home about 9am...call boifren but he can still pick up the phone inform him about the timing and he said ok...so i tried to sleep but on like 2 hrs i sleep i woke up...i dunnoe what makes me woke up...at about 1230 i called boifren to wake him up...call and call and call...but he nvr pick up...until 1320 den he pick up the call... so told him that i want to get ready and meet him there at his place...went out about 2 plus...met him at the bustop...boifren told me that we will be meeting his cousin...but...last minit kak nor boifren didnt wake up...so we proceed with watching the movie...boifren wanted to go for karaoke...but its onli the 2 of us...so we watch movie... after movie...went to blk 26 buy food...me and boifren share food with each other at my house...the food doesnt seem to taste well...sit for a while...talk talk talk...den sent him down to take cab...boifren straight away sleep without any nite2 kiss for me...i went to bed after that...

these days we have been planning to go to thailand... everything is settle...but the main thing is boifren leave is not approve yet...haiz.. please faster approve k..den i can book everything fast...

its been long since i got to hug u really tight..i got to hug u like finally...i love u alot syg...the main reason i want to go holiday with u...i want to release stress and also i want spent time with u...and its during ur bdae...i really hope this year ur bdae will be different like last year.. i syg my bby alot...muuacckzz

2010-06-19T18:59:00.002+08:00

was suppose to werk afternoon shift but i have to change werk midnight shift today... i reached work already earlier this morning...but they called me to come midnight shift also...i decline at the first place coz i knew i wanted to meet boifren tomorrow as i requested to go out with him..but its ok...tired or not...sick or not...i will meet him also tomorrow...i will arrange everything just for me to go out and spent time with him..

this few days when i was otw to werk..i felt jealous to see other couples walking around with their boifren..spending quality time together.. laughing here and there...its not that i want to say i didnt like joke around with boifren or wat...we did...but i just want to spent quality time with him...i noe during his 2nd day off he wont get to go out till late at night...but at least i can be with him watch movie or something... hopefully i get to go out with him and spent quality time with him tomorrow...

i have been coughing, flu and also have some slight fever these days.. boifren did ask me not to go to werk but i did went to werk...but strange...he didnt ask me to eat my medicine or something...although he ask me to have my rest..but he didnt mention about medicine at all..hmmm...these days i really felt like want to be with him all the way...its maybe becoz im worried...im thinking about all those things...im so like sensitive about that...bby...i noe u trying ur best to be with me duirng ur off days...im sorry if i make u tired..rase tk tenang tu masih ade...i tried to forget about it...but it takes time ok...meet me after werk tomorrow ok? imy bby

2010-06-17T21:58:00.002+08:00

i feel so weak right now...have been sneezing and coughing through out the day...i just dun understand why...am i too stress? whats wrong with me...i feel so cold in a sudden... my throat is so dry.. haiz..

oh no!! mama nigau..scary...

ok back to my story.. hmm.. now talking on the phone with him...he is listening to song and sing..now your gone~~~~~~irritating song....

now can continue updating my coz i have already put down the phone...

was talking to kak liza about going bangkok and also ask her whether she wants to come with us or not...but will see how...must discuss with boifren more further...den we can decide where to go...going malaysia might be ok...but might be not ok..my legs and hands are so cold... hiding my legs behind this big pillow at my sofa...super cold... issit because i think too much... or stress too much.. just 2 days past.. the feeling of not good is there still but i keep myself to be strong and not to think negative.. just see how tomorrow...if i feel so weak... i think i will just go to the doctor and see how after that...boifren did scold becoz i just want to take medicine and den i go to werk.. i can cntrl bby...no worries... i will be working till 11pm tomorrow... boifren always scold me when i said about this... he said im talking nonsense...its not nonsense..what do u think...i feel like someone stalking our relationship...like this is in a sudden...haiz... binggung rase nye... my heart although i felt happy...i felt safe when u are with me...u checking on me...but the other side...i feel scared and worried...haiz..

bby... i noe u might be sick and tired im saying about this...but...im not nagging...im not merajok...im just worried about everything... i dun feel good...hmmm... i dun want quarrel with u...i just need u...i need u to be with me always...i tkt...mcm rase tk safe gitu...im sorry i was so quiet last night...i feel like crying...i hug u alot of times coz i wanted to cry...i dunnoe if u notice it...i just need u...haiz.. i binggung... bby..pls proof to me that this thing wont disturb our relationship pls... i baru nk get be pampered by u...but something else came... haiz...i dunnoe...my head is so pain... but bby...

ily alot..and imy..

i dunnoe...what am i talking about...all i can say..im...i dunnoe...arghh...

2010-06-15T22:23:00.004+08:00

one thing goes...one more thing comes..

ya allah adakah ini satu ujian untuk ku?

my heart was like poking by needles..not onli needles but nails.. im not heartbroken but im shocked and sad.. First of all.. i want to apologise to my boifren coz my phone was flat and i didnt get to reply his msgs.. u merajok ngn i smp i call u reject ehk? im sori syg i didnt inform u...my mind was everywhere...i couldnt concentrate wat my teacher is explaining infront... my heart pump really fast...my eyes filled with tears but im holding onto it...

i dun want to reveal anything here...

i just hope u noe what im talking about...im really shocked im really sad...i seriously hold on to everything...i told u last time u said ok and u promise me...but tis time...i was so... i dunnoe...im shocked...i noe everyone makes mistakes...everyone is not perfect... like i said to u...if i every catch u... u noe what will i do...u noe what is right and what is wrong...i respect u... i dun want to be rude to u...but about this i really have no chance but to do wat im not suppose to do...

i might not have a body , i might not have the pretty face and i might not have a talent.. i trust u...u dun make me till i lost my trust... i mark my words of what i said to u thru the msgs... i noe i made mistake before...but i really learn my mistake carefully... like i told u i wont repeat my mistake... u salah i tegur...i salah u tegur...thats wat we always do right...i really hope u dun even kept anything from me...haiz... bby... mmg hati i tk tenang bby... its hard for this to go off... i will be off tomorrow.. i will just be at home.. i dunnoe.. all i need is u... i need u to get all this thing go off from my head... its onli u...onli u who can help me on this.. i baru brape hari ni...nk pamper ngn u...but...i was shocked to see about this...i tk merajok...i cume terkejot...i tot i got my pamper frm u again.. but unfortunately this thing happens...haiz...

may i have the strength and happiness that i have again... i need ur pamper...and i need ur love..

i syg u...i trust u...and i miss u... i really hope u will think of what i said and do wat is right and not to do what is wrong...i trust u... i will prove to u im a gd girlfren to u and i wont repeat any of my mistakes towards u again...

last but not least...

GD LUCK FOR YOUR IPPT TOMORROW..I WISH FOR THE BEST FOR YOU...HOPE U PASS OK.. I WAIT FOR U TILL U FINISH UR IPPT.. I WILL BE AT HOME..

2010-06-14T23:21:00.004+08:00

today was suppose to finish work at 7pm but since my supervisor ask me out so she let me go finish work at 6pm...so both my supervisor ellis and also my colleague hajar finish werk at 5.30pm, den they change this and that...i finished work at 6pm so change quickly den kak lily was there too...so we go off about 6.20pm like that...

this was the plan...ellis ask me out coz hajar wants to go find some fabrics for her baju kebaya...

so....

at 6.20pm went to security checkpoint to punch out...off to orchard mrt...

took mrt drop off at bugis..walk to arab street...when to search for fabrics high and low...lastly reached at one of the shop...we were looking and looking den not hajar bought the fabric but kak lily was the one who grab it...i have the tot of buying...due to not enough of money...i change my mind not to buy...so i just follow them around...kak lily fabrics was super nice...she bought songket and also lace...haiz...i found the songket that i want...unfortunately...i cant buy...i really really want that white songket...haiz...its been long since i want white songket...but i didnt get...

after grabbing the fabrics..we went to find place to eat...find and find...den we eat at kak lily fren shop...nice though... hehehe....i feel so full...must bring bby go there one day...

while eating...we were talking and storying about all the things...so looking at the time...its 9.30 so off we go to bugis mrt and off home....

dun worry bby...i tk kasi ape2 alasan pn...k...hmm...today u werk with someone u dun like no wonder u cant msg me...now i understand...tadi bbl ngn u half way i realise that i talk alone actually when u hang up the call...u didnt tell me at all...but i heard someone was talking to u...

bby ily so much...please dun be mad if i call2 u ok...i noe u bingit psl werk....syg bby....

2010-06-13T21:34:00.002+08:00

this few days i always receive calls from u but u are in a angry tone..i noe up till now i cant really differenciate your voice whether u are angry really really angry or u just like step buat suare tu coz u are disturbing me...u ever did that to me didnt u?? i still remember u disturb me till i cried..

but this few days so like different...u at times dun reply my msg...u reject my calls.. its not that i want to complaint or i want to make 'prangai'.. i noe u would say that as u always said i 'merajok' this few days...im not merajok..senang kate bbl melayu sudah la kn..i tk merajok...cume i rase pelik...u nye suare kdg2 u mcm tengking..u mcm bbl kes mcm garang gitu... sape yg tk salah sangka... i bukan nk irritate u... but its like i feel so far away from u.. i just dun get it when i ask u...u ckp tkde pape... haiz...

i was crying till my head is really damn pain right now.. was deleting some of your msgs just now coz my inbox is some how full...so i read and read while im selecting the msgs that i want to delete...i dunnoe why...i was crying like non stop... i miss u pamper me...with the way u msg where we always laugh... den the way u msg me so like make me feel so happy.. but this few days there isnt like that...its like all the msgs is so serious...i miss those msgs that u msg me like always...

i noe im a gerl...i cant do much things like u do... like u said...ur a guy and im a gerl.. hmm... what i can say is...overall...i actually miss u pamper me.. i really really do...i felt happy when u ask me to take the same 5 days off.. i really really hope..i could spent time with u.. bby u are protective...i noe... i felt happy whenever u msg or call me...but please dun be so fierce please... i feel so like... i dunnoe...i noe u said u want go pub to watch soccer...but please...eventhough i said yes.. after like i clarify everything frm u...i still feel worried...i noe pub is very different frm club... but... even at pub anything could happen... i really hope u noe ur limits bby...i dun want to see u bored..i noe u want to go out with ur frens at times..but please.. just 1 thing...noe your limits...i trust u...just that...inform me..thats all...

all i want is u not to cheat on me...

i syg u bby...and... i miss u alot..

2010-06-12T00:19:00.002+08:00

i suddenly feel so sad when i drop off the bus just now after work.. i just dunnoe why...i keep on looking and looking at my phone whether boifren return my call or msg...but none of it was there...its just the feeling of vibration was there...

i feel like crying...i feel like laughing...i feel like shouting... i just dunnoe why am i feeling like this...

called boifren earlier today but he sounds tired and different...can i at least have boifren to be with me...i need his hug...i need his kiss.. and i need some pampering from him...

i dunnoe if he will read this and bring me out tmr...hopefully its yes... haiz....

2010-06-10T10:56:00.002+08:00

i cant sleep the whole night.. i kept woking up every hour to check on my phone...although i felt so tired.. i dunnoe what kept me woke up the whole entire nite...in my heart i felt sad...i felt sad coz i dunnoe..whether boifren is ok or not... am i in a fault whereby something that i share with him is actually sensitive for him..like i said its hard to judge boifren...he is different.. he will kept quiet and not say anything...all he will do is say alot of words that can make me cry.. haiz... am i in the wrong? im confuse...

called boifren last night but his voice is so different...i noe he is tired after work... haiz...i dunnoe...im confused...am i in the wrong????????

ya allah please give me strength...

i noe boifren will shout and scold vulgarities if i call him...its all depends...

bby please... we need to talk...i dun want this thing to melarut...
i am sincere to u...im saying the truth...kalau i btol tk syg u and main kn hati u...i tk akan buat ape2...i tk akn nk call2 u...msg2 u after i share the other day with u...i just want to noe...am i in the wrong...? i seriously confused...i nk tau...i kerje bkn nk menggatal...i kerje untuk carik duit... like i said...my werk is to communicate...bby...fyi...i tk rapat pn ngn die...i bbl stakat bbl psl kerje... semua org kat dept i becok...termasok la i...after werk i straight go home and i will even rush to meet u or i straight go home...bby...can i at least show it to u that im actually saying the truth?? please...i want to noe am i in the wrong...please txt me bby...im seriously confused...i tk tau i ni salah ke tk...i tau very hard to judge..but...can we talk...please...

2010-06-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

i rase bersalah walaupon i tk buat ape ape salah...i rase bersalah sebab i buat u sedih... my heart suddenly stops when i hear ur voice like that... whats wrong? are u crying? im telling u the truth...im not lying...like u said i slalu ade masalah..but im actually sharing with u someting of what happen at werk...i dun have any intention of making any problems with u...

bby...i syg u sorg jek... i truly love u...if i dun love u, i dun even bother to noe anything about u...i tk jage hati u...now im taking care of ur heart... i noe u feel sad of what i said...but seriously...i dun have any intention to make u sad or wat...please im sorry if what i talk to u make u like this...please....

2010-06-08T22:26:00.003+08:00

bby... being with u is the most precious thing i ever had... everytime when i feel some difficulties...u are the first one i will find and i will share with...sometimes u sounds like u dun even care...but after a while...u will give me advice..u gave me motivation at times... when we have some problem occurs..we will find solution together..without being harsh with each other...although u did like few times being so angry with me...but at the end of the day... we will be back as per normal... u are protective...u worried at times whenever im going out or i finish werk late at night.. we share alot of things with each other...sometimes u disturb me till i cry..as time pass by...i realise alot of things change..u have been already working shift basis...as for me..im just working as a part timer..but still i earn money... we gone thru lots of ups and downs... but...alhamdullillah..we are still strong...i feel comfortable when u are around...i love the way u hug me, kiss me and also pamper me...although sometimes this 3 things will actually follow the mood of yours..hehe...the way u are when we are outside..like most of your friends said..we always like gado..not as in real gado but like quarrel over a small things...the way we joke around is very rough... hehe...

i noe its hard for u to trust whether what i tell u issit true or not...i tau i tkde evidence...but do u think if im wrong im very brave to tell u all this? kalau i salah, u dpt tangkap, u mesti tau kn mcm mane i jwb...i tk akn nk lawan balek ckp u...i will always tell the truth...i dun even bother to tell lies about all this things that i told u yest...i noe my limits...i noe where i stand...what for i nk menggatal sedang kn i ade u... its better for u to hear from my mouth den ppl buat mulut psl i...i syg u...i da pernah kene lecture ngn u...do u think i want to do it again? u must be crazy if u think i have the heart to do it again...its a totally NO! NO! ppl might said its up to me whether i want or not...but seriously frankly speaking...its a NO NO...i wont do it again...i blang u sbb i tau i tk salah...kalau i salah do u think i will tell u? mesti i tk brani nk...hmmm...i syg u...sbb tu i tk nk stupid2 things happen to us...i love u alot dear...

2010-06-06T00:41:00.003+08:00

As I look back on all that's happened..growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me -- there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.

I miss those days where we always shop together, having fun together...like u said to me the other day...u still feel strange how come we can be together...and its like...we have been together for 1 year plus...and we are still strong.. we go through lots of things together...its not easy to have someone special like u...u are someone special that i have right now...i feel so happy to have u with me...i will always love u syg...u will always in my heart...

2010-06-04T21:28:00.002+08:00

Just now meet kak lily at jurong east mrt station at 9.20am to sent ipin at airport..he will flying off to brunei for 7 mths...ipin doesnt noe about kak lily and my plan actually...so we make a suprise for him...so we actually acting thru out the journey..till i have to actually like acting msg...and i have to disturb boifren werking...hehehe....sori sayang...so thru out the journey...me and kak lily story this and that...just to make the situation very lively and also make it really fun...so everybody is not so quiet and sad...hayati ipin girlfren was so quiet thru out the journey...she didnt even eat... i noe how she feels...she might not have appetite to eat and also she is feeling sad...by looking at her face...i noe... so we went to eat...and then we chill over at polar puff and cakes...so while seating down we story about jobs and also future...kak lily was asking ipin what he want to be once he came back to singapore after 7 mths...so while we were seating and watching people walking here and there, den we saw people pushing trolleys..ipin said he want to try to werk as a trolley service...den when he say in his resume he wants to write about all this....hahaha...super funny conversation that we had....

looking at the time, its already 1344hrs...we have to move up to the departure side to check which gate ipin will board his flight...so we went up and then we see...sent him to the checkpoint...and we have to say goodbye to him of course...so first kak lily hug him of course...den followed by me...den followed by his girlfriend...looking at both of them both me and kak lily start to feel so sad...and kak lily cried...i hold on to my tears of course...den kak lily pop up this question to me...'adek if ipin was replace by min what will u feel..?' i start to think and i feel freaking sad..i said to her i will cry like what hayati did...i will hug him so tightly and cry...but i think i couldnt get a chance to hug him as his parents will be sending him too...so i will onli break down...kak lily said...if it were to be her...she will broke down and tergolek-golek over there...so we control our emotion of course... so ipin like finally go in and check in everything... so we walk to mrt station...hayati stop crying...but in the mrt...she cried again...only 2 weeks ipin came back to singapore and there he need to go back to brunei for nxt 7 mths...haiz...so pity of hayati....

boifren...if it were to be u...i think i will tergolek-golek and cry...i will hug u really really tight of course...haiz...bby...i think nxt week will onli be the day that we can meet each other...i miss u so much sayang...bby...im very worried about this weekend actually...i noe u have to drive...but please drive safely..i noe u are working really like so hard for this week till we cant spent time with each other... haiz...bby...ily so much...and i miss u....dun forget to eat..rest well and also take care of ur health ok...

2010-06-04T00:21:00.002+08:00

I just came back from werk..kinda tiring as i have been working and working and working...this week its like kinda hard to meet boifren and also spent time with him...on monday i meet him and watch movie with him...was suppose tmr boifren must have his off day...but unfortunately he will be working...i took off day everytime his 2nd day off coz that the onli time i can actually spent time with him..even though its onli like few hours for us to spent time with as boifren will resume back to werk the nxt day in the morning i still really appreciate and also treasure those moments with him...yesterday i really really knock out when i reached home...check my facebook a while and then im off to sleep..msg boifren but there is no reply from him..i guess he might be busy...and true enough he is busy...so cant say anything...at about 7 plus i guess boifren finally msg me saying that he wants me to meet him at under his void deck.. so i agreed and waited for his message again saying that he have already finish work...slept again and about 10am he message me saying that he have done everything...so i went to take a shower and get ready for werk too...so reached at his house at 12pm...so pass it to him...and waited for the bus...as usual i missed a bus..and also im late for werk...i cant go for briefing..if i go for sure kena scolding...so i didnt go for briefing at all...seated at the desk at 2pm...once i seat...everything start...ziela here...ziela there...i was like...blur...all about phone template about this and that...i was so damn busy...where phone calls non-stop ringing...i felt so tired...had some trainings also just now...at 4.30pm i went for my break...but its like...i took 1 hr for my break..was suppose to be 45mins..after my break ended...again...lots of things to do...all those admin stuff...i just dunnoe why today is super busy..and there goes boifren gave me a missed call...call him back...i just dunnoe why...he said this and that...i was like...so..stress out...as i have alot of things to do...there he goes saying this and that...haiz...im super stress..things have not yet done...my eyes was full with tears...i keep on pick up calls and stuff...bt half way i stop...cant take it anymore...text boifren and stuff...while multi tasking with all my other work...haiz...i just dunnoe why this days are so busy...hopefully things will get better and not busy like just now...

bby whats wrong with u tadi? u bbl mcm gitu...u tk fikir ke i kat kerje ke...i busy ke tk...i noe i always call u whenever im free at werk...but im find some time for u at werk too...u noe the way u talk to me like that really makes my mood really down...im really really sad u noe...i da tkde mood nk werk...i da tk tau ape yg i buat...i da tk concentrate da...i tk pernah nk buat prangai bile u werk tau...u ask me why i nvr scold u anything...i tk tegas ngn u psl i respect u...i noe certain parts i need to be loud to u...but in my way...im not like..other ppl will actually shout at the person...i will onli noisy to the person but not shouting...u should noe bby...like u said...1 year plus why i tk marah u...but u should noe kadang2 i bising2 ngn u sampai u ckp ape.."u bising ar..." but why must u say about those gerls...i noe u trying to make me angry rite...and then u said becoz u long time nvr meet me...tk semestinye kite ni da lame tk jumpe u kene buat i mcm ni...i tau i kerje...timing kite tk same...but im really trying my best to have my off day same as u...i feel so sad u see...i really really miss u after we meet just now...please bby...dun make me like this anymore...im really2 down u noe...haiz...

boifren please call me once u wake up please...i sent a message at ur phone..its urgent k...

will be meeting kak lily to sent ipin to airport at 8.45am tmr morning...
may u have a save flight ipin...see u after 7 mths...

2010-05-31T21:43:00.002+08:00

Just now watch Prince of Persia at Chathay Cineplex with boifren... we watch at the grand cathay...its so big...the sound system and the graphic is super good...i got like shock in the middle of the movie and boifren laugh at me...shit u bby....hehehe... the movie was kinda fun la..although some part i nearly fall asleep and dun understand...so i just open my eyes keep continue watching... i feel so comfortable watching the movie in boifren's arm...hehehe....its hard to get him hug me... :)

although we spent time like onli kinda short while just cathing a movie, eat and the go home...i still feel so happy and i have fun with him...the feeling now if got to meet boifren is like different..i feel much much more happy and excited...i really make every minutes and seconds to be with him as much as i could...i noe boifren will be very busy..so i could onli be with him like onli few hours or like onli 1 day with him...

this is our new beginning and this is how we will be tgt...soon as time past by i will get used to this kind of timing that we are going thru now...

2010-05-30T21:19:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went to Pasir Ris Town Park for KKH Family day.. Nothing much over there.. its kinda boring..so me and a'an walk around ourself.. then we go see ayah and didi fishing...but both of them didnt even get any fish at all...but its actually very jealous to see other people caught a very big fish..

then we all sit under a coconut tree... i sit with an unbrella behind me as if im sun tanning at the beach...but its just a park...hehehe... so wait and wait...the weather is so hot... cant stand the heat...lucky i dun really wear that nice...i just wear something slack...so at about 12 plus...we have our lunch...i dun really eat coz i was watching one of the apek cathing fish...super huge the uncle caught the fish its like can be up to 4kg of fish...nenek is so geram with the fish..nenek said if my dad can caught a fish like that, go home can cook asam pedas...i was like...wow...super nice..hehehe...but sayur bendi...hehe...so after so about 12 plus we went to the prawing site..waited and waited..the nxt session is at 1315hrs...so we waited and we are the first one on the queue...so at 1315hrs...everybody was like cant wait for their turn...but they onli get like 1/2hrs coz their is free...as for me and kakak ours is 1hr...we paid 13dollars for it...so we go and get out baits and stuff from the uncle...and we start prawning...it was my first time though...hahaha...boifren didnt follow me and family coz boifren will be working night shift...so i was there with my family...about 3 plus all of us move off from there...as we were there like so early in the morning...but then when we reached home, i see my body turn very dark...kakak have like sun tan her body...haiz...my face like stripes...so i caught my first prawn and continously caught my prawns...everybody thought i was using something...haha...no ok...hehehe...my luck is so good on that day i guess...

so mum cook sambal udang today...hehe...the prawn is so big...i like..hehe...
boifren is sleeping currently right now..kecian die tk tido from just now he came back from werk...he reached home..sleep like on 1hour plus den i wake him up to go for his jamming session..pity him so much..nvrm tmr i treat u watch prince of persia ok...

i love my boifren alot...

2010-05-29T17:46:00.002+08:00

Last nite boifren doesnt even txt me...although he txt me like only a few like saying he is busy have some things need to settle and also inform me that he will be home late...so i waited till he txt me again about ard 10pm like that...but he did not txt...once i finish werk as yest i finish werk at 11pm, i txt him as usual and also once i reached home i txt him too...*report strength* so waited and waited...he didnt msg me....i cant sleep every hour i woke up to check my phone although i felt so so so tired at that moment of time and i noe that today i need to wake up early too... so i check again and again...but there is no answer from him...i called and even msg him again....i do like 'nigau' when kakak woke me up at about 8am to get ready go to pasir ris.. i was like...i tot kakak woke me up coz kakak want to tell me that boifren is home..haiz...so before i went out from home..i txt boifren again.... hmmm....waiting and waiting for him...so at about 12 plus...called boifren...he was asleep...so i hung up the call...at about 2 plus...i called him...yes like finally i got to talk to him...he was playing his gitar at that moment of time...

first thing when he pick up my call he said.. he dun want to lyn me anymore...i was shock and thinking back what i have done wrong last night...i didnt do anything wrong either...haiz...i felt really like so sad he said that to me...we were like ok since d day before...mayb its becoz he is tired...i dunnoe...but even if he is tired, he would actually msg me too...but not like this...i felt like crying...but...i just hold on to it...i felt afraid to call or msg him at this moment...i noe what is the consequences if i call him again...

1) he will say foul words to me.
2) he will reject my calls
3) if i txt him..he wont be replying my msg.

i tot once he picks up the call just now he would actually talk to me like normal...but he did not...its just that i feel so sad... we hardly meet but i felt fine and happy if i could actually hear his voice or even txt him everyday...

bby...if i did wrong yest or the day before please tell me...dun keep quiet and even like not replying my msg or not picking up my call... are u tired syg...but if u are tired pn u will even talk to me...like even txt me...im sad u noe...i tau kite jarang jumpe...but at least please dun like diam diam...den reject2 call i...den tk reply msg...i risau...mcm smlm...i seriously...i tk leh tido...i fikir mane u...u asl tk msg i...i noe u will be busy with ur werk i understand as ur job is not as easy as mine...but all i need is onli u to txt me like u are home or something...it feels like u are away if u nvr txt me...u always brighten up my day whenever i receive ur msg or ur call...its like whenever im having difficulties at werk u txt me den i feel so happy and excited coz u txt me...i never even feel a single regret to have u in my life... i love u sayang

2010-05-25T23:00:00.002+08:00

Oh god im perspiring now...i just dunnoe why...2 fans in front of me but still im perspiring like hell..

A while ago i was messaging with boifren..but i guess he is busy photocopying papers...he said in a very funny was as he follows the way 'Adnan Sempit' does it...* careful my dear dun get papercuts ok*. I will be working morning shift tomorrow but still im cant sleep at this moment...Oh gosh...im having headache again...

I just dunnoe why i always kept wanting to post someting each day...and everyday... its just that i have something to say out from my heart...but i just couldnt say it out...i dunnoe what how to type it as it just couldnt came out...haiz...

Someting actually bothering me...it just kept haunting me day by day....to forget about it its just really hard...when i sit all alone at home or at werk eating...this things kept coming haunting me.. i feel so stress out with this...haiz...what should i do...??? *head spins*

I cant type anymore...i cant take it anymore... why does this thing kept haunting me day by day... haiz....

off to bed now...awaits for my bby to msg or call me... :(

2010-05-25T19:32:00.002+08:00

Sayang...ku ingat kn dirimu....bahawa ku tk bisa hidup tanpamu...~~

Oppsss...i just love this song...very nice...

Today i dun go to school...Luckily boifren dun scold me...but i have a good reason though...so he cant scold me at all...i have some cramps la of course...so cant walk far far away...but right now...im having my flu, my body is so hot and i feel so headache...super painful...i just dunnoe why...

Currently now im messaging boifren...boifren is having his night shift for today.. he dun message me for like the whole entire day..onli at 4.30pm he called me...he tot i finish work already...but...NO!! not yet i finish at 5.30pm... so at 5.30pm...called boifren...wake him up...he needs to go to work...so i change...den i eat awhile...den off to far east plaza to check my pay...wahahah....den i transfer money and stuff den go home...

omg....my head really painful...i cant stand it...

bby...help me...my head so pain...yay...meet u on thursday...yippie....wah...bby so relax can msg2 me...if not so quiet...i msg den u nvr reply..feel so so so......worried u noe...

2010-05-23T22:24:00.006+08:00

Its been long since i went out with boifren...So today is the day i went out with boifren...its a great blast though...we went to lido and get our tickets for SHREK 3D..our show start at 1800hrs...so while waiting for the show...me and boifren walk around town...so went to meet his fren at the timberland shop...so...after meeting him, we walk to takashimaya and den to cineleisure... i ate at burger king but boifren didnt eat..he just shared the food with me...so after eating...boifren smoke a while...den head back to lido as his fren called saying that he is on break...so went and meet him...if i cant hold onto my hungry-ness...i can eat at puncak...damn it...after talking and talking...den head to our movie...boifren love to see the donkey kids...tat is donkey + dragon =??? hehe...super cute its red in colour...so the donkey is the dad and the dragon is the mum...hehe... the show ended at around 1940hrs...tot of meeting my cousin but he didnt reply my message at all...so head to esteler and eat... i tot of not eating but nothing tat is kinda light for me...so i ate something heavy...no choice mah...hmm... boifren suddenly said something after he finishes his meal..he said like this...
"i ade satu kawan ni name die '....' die ckp die tk nk makan banyak tapi...die mkn byk jugak...makan byk pun tetap tk gemok-gemok... tapi gemok bukan nye bdn die naik...tapi...pipi die yg gemok..." so i stop eating and look at him...den i laugh...i really had great fun with boifren just now... although some parts during the time he make me feel like wat...but i just dun want to spoil our day out...so at last...at the end of the day its really great thing i ever had to end the day with wat boifren said to me...its been long since i heard those words came out from his mouth to me..

dear syg..
i really had fun with u today...thank you so much for making my day really really great...i know we both busy with our work and our schedule is not the same...i hope we could at least spent more time again...i got shock when u such question to me...its been long u didnt ask me that question... bby...im my heart there's onli u... i will wait for u...i noe kite akan jarang kluar...onli once in a while we can actually go out...sometimes...i do like pestering u nk jumpe...nk jumpe...im sorry if i did tat to u...i syg u sorg jek...i tau kat kerje...org kacau i la ni la tu la...i do feel so worried at times too...i dun want u to misunderstand if anything happen...trust me...i love u alone...and im ready to wait for u...bby...this few days i kept thinking about something u have said to me before...i tried to forget about it...but i cant...it kept haunting me over and over again...i dreamt stupid things...my mind was like everywhere...haiz...bby...i really had fun with u just now... ily so much....muaackkz..

ya allah beri la ku semangat dan juga kekuatan jikalau ada sebarang kekacauan dalam hidupku ini...amin...

2010-05-23T11:59:00.003+08:00

awaits for his morning call rite now...he have yet to wake up from his beauty sleep... but early morning at about 6am he called me....reject his call and call him back...talk awhile and im back to my sleep...its onli that he is checking on me whether im asleep or not as i txt him about ard 1am saying i cant sleep...so yeah...he was checking on me i guess...hmmm...

so yesterday reached home at about 12 plus after work...kinda tired...everybody at home was asleep...after i wash up, i went straight to bed...but still i cant sleep at that moment...turn here..turn there..cant sleep...so i txt boifren...he didnt reply though...hmmm...

im still thinking where to go later if meet him...if we go out today..we wont be going home late as both of us will be resume back to work tomorrow...this is life...working...working...and working....nxt week...will be a tiring day for me...i will onli have 1 day off...haiz....onli saturday is my day off...but boifren will be having his night shift on that day...damn it...

today is the due date for my job...i wonder can it be done or not...im off for today...but yesterday, i double check with the ones that the person who help me went on the floor changing the phone template..but...after a while....i suddenly realise...the ones that she highlited is the ones is occupied room...but...why someone else said that the highlite ones is a vacant room...i was super pissed off and i stop what im doing...lucky...i didnt touch anything on the system...if not...i will be dooom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! called my supervisor...i felt like crying...i txt boifren...but boifren was asleep i guess...he txt me back...but...haiz...i just couldnt help it...today is the dateline....as nxt week will be a very busy week...high occupancy....damn it...i wonder issit true she cover the whole entire building in GRAND WING....wth...i went 20 rooms and i felt so tired...wat if going for like more than 20 rooms...in and out....omg....doing alone? i dont think so....yesterday really not my day...like half of the day...ppl are testing my emotions...i have not been like this at work before...now i feel how frustrated this ppl are...i kept quiet and im thinking wat am i suppose to do...haiz....i just wonder what happen today to that gerl who mix everything up will my job....

bby...please wake up faster...i want meet u and go out with u....haiz...cpt la bgn....

AND YES NOT FORGETTING TODAY IS MY FREN BIRTHDAY..

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO NOORLYANA BTE KASSIM...MAY YOU HAVE A GREAT GREAT BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR... CHEERS!!

2010-05-22T00:52:00.002+08:00

Reached home exactly at 1220am.. waited for the bus nearly 1hr plus standing at the bustop opposite far east plaza for 190... but all the bus that came was full...i got frustrated and im sweating at the same time...so wait and wait and wait...lastly...took NR3 home...i just top up my ezlink and now it left with 6dollars...haiz...btol nk mkn duit org ar....so while waiting...txt boifren...but as usual he didnt reply coz he is on duty now...so when i was in the bus...he reply me back saying that he was so busy till he forget to reply me back...nvrm syg... i understand u have alot of things to do...

This few days i felt so happy and so like...i just couldnt describe the feeling... boifren started to be like last time...hehe..i like it... just now receive a msg from him saying that its been like so long nvr meet me...he wants to meet me...i was super excited feel like jumping around...its been long since i got this kind of msg from him...its onli like once in a blue moon...i have to wait till he said that again to me or even ask me he wants this and that...he miss this and that...its freaking hard to hear that from him..he is a kind of a person just want me to noe myself...wat he likes and dislikes...i just couldnt wait to meet boifren tmr...waiting for his msg tmr morning....i need to tune into bed now...my eyes is so sleepy now...tmr i will be working thru out the week...haiz...

bby...da lame sey tk dgr u ckp mcm tu ngn i...i got shocked seriously..mcm tk percaye...hehe...its been like days we didnt meet each other kn...although u can meet me anytime but still like susah...my roster is not the same as urs...but luckily on sunday ni kite same2 off...bole dpt kluar ngn u...just hopefully tkde pape halangan untuk kite kali ni....*cross fingers* ily syg...how i wish u could post a blog like last time..but u cant anymore...so i wouldnt noe wats going on and stuff..
meet bby tmr...imy...

2010-05-19T23:27:00.002+08:00

Just came back from work and school...super tired...i nearly fall asleep in class...where my body is aching,leg is aching too...need some massage...

So yesterday was suppose to work morning shift,but i took MC...i got some fever the night before...but when i reached the doctor,everything is gone...as usual boifren will tease me saying that im just acting sick...but im not ok...its real...i cant really breathe at work like a few times...i guess its due to my block nose and also dust ar so many all around the department..so im back to work today.. i feel kinda okay...but still cough cough, running nose...and my appetite for food is not really there...so i need to went up to guest rooms and my boss ask me too...so make everything alone...kinda tired too....

ok..so straight to the point ok...the main reason this blog is posted becoz my boifren here wants something from me...

i miss those times where both me and boifren will actually like...post something here in our blog and den we will actually answer back watever the question or something in our own blog.... its call love2 msg...hehe...its our version of saying...but nvrm those ppl who reads this post will noe what does it mean soon...

so here it goes...

being with u is the most amazing thing i ever had..at first from frens,secondary school frens i must say, to best frens,to special frens and now we are together gerlfren and boifren...at first i was like blur seeing me and u together...but after a while...my love for u became stronger and stronger..its like my love for u is really strong till i can just think about u and forget about everything...but the most thing i cant forget is where we both are having our really great time together..we went shopping, fetching each other from work and also going to ur gigs...i miss looking at u performing...though i wont be in front of the stage but im there to see u and to be with u during ur performance...i noe we do have stupid past...but from what i want now is us having a new life as we are going thru our journey... all i want is u to guide me to the correct path.. yes i noe u might be busy with your werk and its kinda hard to be with me at times im in need of you...all i need is time for me to get used to our schedule and so i wont be complaining this and that to you...i noe u will be tired listening to all my complaining this days... i really appreciate my boifren alot..coz u did alot of things for me...u even met me at the doctor after ur midnight shift...though u are tired u tired your best to meet me and be with me...

thank you sayang for accompany me yesterday...i really appreaciate it alot...i noe u did complaint to me saying during u at hospital im not there...but i didnt noe u went right...onli that when u reached there, u den tell me...do you noe, i love u alot...i might be saying to you this guy like trying to be funny with me and all stuff...the main reason is...its not that i dunnoe how to take care of myself...im being sincere to you...i want you to trust me so that u dun feel worried when im working...i noe u dun trust and even u are worried im working in hyatt...
but bby...listen here...i syg u...i syg u sorg aje...ye mmg kdg2 i bising2 kat u...i ckp mcm2 psl u...mcm mane i tk bising u asik2 ckp psl pmpn ni la, pmpn tu la...den bile i merajok, u nnt terus nk ltk telephone la,tk reply la...tk pujuk i pn...ya i noe u kinda hard to do that...onli at times onli..i just feel scared u see...im scared i lose u...im happy being with u...time running so fast now...lots and lots of things that we need to settle...all bby have to noe...i love u so much and i ikhlas to be with u...its onli that kdg2 i rase mcm sorg gitu..u kerje...u penat,den hard to communicate kadang2...den when u tired, i want ur attention, u might be like scold me...after u scold me, i have to step back before i tried to call or msg u again...i just miss u...i rindu u sgt2...i miss ur attention towards me...slalu u ckp ngn i suruh jage diri baik, be alert bile balek...ya i noe u always said that and it must be in my mind...but...i do have feelings too...i miss ur attention towards me...bby...u kerje baik2 ok...syg u...kerje u bkn kerje sembarangan...i risau jugak u tk mkn ke ape ke...i love my gemok alot....u are my sunshine baby..

bby i misssss you so much...meet me soon....muaackkz

2010-05-17T11:16:00.002+08:00

just woke up from sleep.. im having flu and my stomach really really hurts.. kinda like abit dizzy at this moment... im waiting for boifren to actually call or msg me...i guess he is still sleeping...nvrm just wait...i will be going to werk in a few hrs time..

i just got a news from kak lily that my cousin ipin will be coming back to singapore tis coming 21 may...like finally he is back here after 6 months over at brunei... will see you soon ipin once u are back here in singapore..

time for a kinda serious part...

Last nite when i finish work, i suddenly think about jobs...what type of job can i find easily with a very good pay... im not thinking of big pay but just a reasonable pay for me and enough for me to pay some of my bills and stuff..so as usual i text boifren asking him is this a good choice to change job at this moment...he said no...i really need to be like independent working at hyatt now...although my shift is like...hmmm....nvrm..or mayb im thinking about boifren too much that im scared that i cant meet him tat oftenly...im really looking forward to spent tiime with boifren soon...how soon..im not sure...all i have to do is wait for him...i cant make the decision...i can plan...but just wait for his answer whether its a yes or no...hmm... i noe this is a very new test that im going thru...like last time boifren in camp i did always ask him when can i meet u...can i meet u this weekend or not...when he said no...i will start to like asking him stupid stupid questions...hmm...or mayb i want his attention towards me..every time he is working, i will be waiting for his msg no matter he is working morning or night shift...i will still wait...sometimes the way boifren talk to me might be very harsh...it hurts me at times...as he kinda a person like hard to show his love to that person...but when he is really protective to that person...u can really really see it...i like boifren personality..its amazing...from we are frens till now we are together, its like when he angry, he really really angry...i just feel so happy to have to be with him... i just couldnt be apart from him..

Thank you bby for being with me and also tahan my behavior...i noe at times im very irritating...i noe we hardly meet coz our shift is not the same...although u ever said before, now we can easily meet anytime ur day off...but it depends too what shift im working...im really looking forward to go out with u and also spent time with u...i dun mind if its onli a short time...but all i want is to meet u and be with u.. i love u sayang...

2010-05-15T23:37:00.013+08:00

Just came back from Aida's Wedding...reached home at about 10pm just now... her wedding was held at Tampines..Its near to where me and boifren have been there before that is near Tampines East CC...so the plan was like this..meet my BMC frens at tampines MRT ctrl stn at 6pm..but unfortunately as usual...im late...so meet them at 6.30 over there..so we make a move to aida's wedding by taking bus there...kinda far from the interchange...reached destination...we walk slowly as my frens wants to smoke...excluding me ok...i dun smoke.. :)

Ask boifren to follow me to go to Aida wedding..but he decline...so went there alone..travelling all alone in the MRT without him...Boifren went for jamming session with his uncle and cousin..another day gone couldnt meet him...i wonder when will be the day that i could actually spent time really alot with him..still waiting...i dun mind whether its just a short while or something at least i see him...i meet him and i spent time with him...ya allah pls fulfil my prayers...Amin..

So we came in there without anyone we knew....once seated, they ask whether we are aida's fren so ya...they said that aida is changing her outfit...we waited and we eat enjoy our food as usual....so i ate satay and alot more...hehehe...im hungry at that moment...saying about food im kinda hungry actually rite now...wahahaha.... so sat down eating den we snap some pictures here and there...i didnt even bring my camera at all..but lucky my frens did...waited and waited...aida still not coming down..more and more people coming so we stood up and move to a side... like finally at 8.30pm aida came down with her very beautiful dress purple in color...i just so in love with the dress...super nice....so snap some pictures and we make a move from there....we actually waited for her coz we want to watch her sing....and her voice is super amazing....its like not her...let me upload some pictures okay...

classmates in BMC

bride and groom to be this July

Husband and wife.. Khairil was asked a nice question...when is their...and the answer is...."huh? i already have 2 kids.." hehehe....

Us without khairil (shura husband)

Me as usual want to syiok sendiri...no lah...was testing onto shura's cute little flower on my head...

Last but not least...the bride and groom for the day....

CONGRATULATIONS!

SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU ZURAIDA BTE MORNI....

2010-05-15T00:02:00.002+08:00

Boifren is now already busy with his work and me too busy working to find more money for both of us... though we have some difficulties in saving money as we have short of money everytime..its not to due of over shopping...but some emergencies matters that we need to settle like for example doctor fee, money for taking cab and stuff...Working is not easy especially when we have some responsibilities that we need to control.. our frens might see me and boifren enjoying shopping, pamper ourself by buying expensive stuff.. but we do have a budget to where we can spent until..boifren and me now we hardly meet each other due to our schedule...not actually our schedule...but my schedule...i need to count when is his off day and i will see whether im working or not...if not...boifren working night shift im working morning shift...im working night shift he working morning shift...its like...very hard..mayb im not use to it...so i need to actually bare for like 1 mth plus so i can get use to his and my schedule...like of course i will miss him so much... boifren will be like very restless whenever i meet him...he look so tired and he did sleep alot...all i can is wait for him to txt me when he is working...im still waiting for the good time for me and him spent time together again like normal...at least 1 day i would be really happy to spent time with him like normal...going shopping... walking here and there... i really miss those time...if he were in camp...onli saturday or sunday he can actually meet me...at least he sent me to werk...now...hardly meet, hardly sent me to work or fetch me from school....although he is having his off days, he will be like on standby...so i cant really actually plan alot coz im scared everything will be gone...

seriously...i just need 1 day for me and him to spent time together...just 1 day please..

2010-05-09T00:23:00.002+08:00

FIGHT FOR THIS LOVE

Boifren must me wondering what does this 'fight for this love' means to me.. there are some reasons why with regards to this quote..

boifren and me do go thru alot of struggles in the whole entire journey of our relationship.. Im really glad that we have made this far and we are still going strong in what ever things hard we went thru, we still made it till this far..i did cried alot of times and when solving some problems...now after boifren have already pass out, we now going thru new life and this is a start of our new journey..i need to sacrifice myself werking more as i need to help boifren out with some problems that he is facing right now..i cant bare to make him stress all alone thinking about alot of stuff... though my shift and boifren shift is kinda like different at times..i still need to make myself comfortable with his schedule and mine...maybe this is the start so im not use to it...*please give me time sayang..*im trying to get myself ok with his schedule and also his recall... but of course i will miss him so much... this week myh schedule and his will be so tight...if i finish werk, he will be going to werk..if he finish werk, i will be going to werk...hmm...hopefully things will be very smooth when we get use to it already...boifren must be very tired after his work...

bby...hopefully we will go this new journey smoothly...i noe our schedule is not really that same...i have alot to say but it just couldnt came out from my head...haiz...

let me sleep now...im working morning tmr at 8am...

oh yes...boifren i will be updating my schedule here...so u may check what shift i will be working everyweek... i plan to actually make my blog private...so more private things can be input in here...see how it goes ok...ily syg

2010-05-07T21:18:00.004+08:00

im back from my midnight shift today...its my first time doing midnight shift..so overall i can rate... ITS GREAT...hahaha...so finish werk at 8am just now...straight go home..bathe den slp...really slp like wat...although my phone rang due to boifren msgs...but still i can continue slp after tat...so woke up at 5pm..took a shower den meet boifren at jurong point...so walk around jurong point as i want to find shoes...but none of it i like...

i just dunnoe why...i suddenly love CHERYL COLE...hehehe...

kak nor really like her alot...after i listen to her songs...i fall for it already...the way she dance...fuhh...nice...kak nor collect all her pictures...hehe...werking with kak nor during mid night shift can be crazy...hehe...

hmm...boifren will resume work tmr...he recover from his sick at last...onli his throat still painful...soon it will be better boifren...good tat u stop smoking...but...i dun want later u start again ok.. imy sayang...kerje baik2 ok..ily alot...hopefully boifren wont be very busy and den forget about me...will be always waiting for boifren to call and msg me when he is on duty...

2010-05-04T22:51:00.002+08:00

boifren was sent to the doctor 2 days ago...not a normal private doctor...but he was sent to the hospital..i got a msg from him on sunday afternoon saying that he is at the hospital alone to go see doctor...sadly, he was on drip on that day and im not with him... kinda worried at home if anything happen to him...so he was all alone at NUH till like i want to go to werk...when he finish his 2 packets of drip den his parents came and fetch him...

i knew he was so weak on saturday...he claim that he is having fever...so i didnt noe that it will be this bad... how i wish i was with him on that day...all i can do is check on him every hour when im not busy at work...

now boifren keep saying that his throat is so painful..i noe he is trying to quit his smoking...whether true or not onli god noes.. i noe it might be just throat swelling or he might be having tonsils..tonsils is where there is some growth on the throat...not really that growth but the opening of the throat is very red and swollen...and the sides is like getting bigger..so all i can advise is boifren to go back to see doctor if its getting worse and drink water too...the medicine is just ice cream actually...i did get this tonsils before...so i onli get some injections..and it cures after a week...

Hopefully boifren will recover soon.. *pray hard*

haiz.. boifren is sick and i just couldnt get some attention from him...anything i complain, he will be like kinda angry and scold me..maybe he is sick thats y...if onli he noes i need his attention from him...

2010-05-01T22:08:00.002+08:00

its been a week i have been spending time with boifren all the way..its a really great week for me as i got to be with him...and the great thing is im having a very long off day...yesterday, Friday 30 April 2010 den i resume working all the way...
I will be starting my night shift soon.. it will be my first night...i wonder can i do my night shift well..

So just now im having my morning shift...plan with boifren yest that we will be going here and there as we plan to check on the things to customised his guitar that he just bought like few days ago...as usual...i over slept...i woke up at 5.30am just now...thanks to boifren for messaging me...if not i will be really really late for werk... boifren txt me early morning to inform that he is having a fever.. pity pity him so much...his fever is really really high...told him to eat medicine and have a rest... so he did msg me again like few hours later saying that his fever is ok now...i was relieve to hear that...but not until 1hr he txt me again saying that his fever is back again...omg...his fever is on and off...haiz...so met him at orchard control station den walk ard town and met his fren izan...while waiting for his fren we sat down at outside Plaza Singapura...boifren was wondering where to find "air badak" find at 7eleven...nothing found...haiz...soo we went carefour and we found it...bought 2 bottles for him and off to bras basah and den to flyer..boifren was really lembek at that moment of time...i bought for him another 2 more bottles of rhino water for him...so when we reach flyer boifren was really2 weak...super pity of him...accompany him to the toilet and den off i sent him home via cab...his body was really hot...super damn hot... reach under his void deck... put all my things properly den ask him to go home and rest...reach home was on the phone with him....haiz...

boifren get well soon sayang...i love you....

2010-04-29T21:39:00.007+08:00

22 April 2010

Picture above.. Boifren finally POC on the 22nd of April.. Im waiting for this daya actually to happen..finally no more waiting for weekends for me..i can finally meet him during weekdays..

So during that day itself, at about 1.30 i went out from my house and meet his family at lot 1..so quickly2 siap den go out...my hair was like..i dunnoe wat to say..luckily myface is done..hehehe....so waste time with his family den head to meet boifren.. everything started and all parents stand up and took pictures...its like a 'wow' reaction for me..so i sit down took care of the things while his dad and sis took pictures...i took pictures onli during everybody is at their sit...hehehe...so snap snap snap...not so much of pictures i could snap...it was raining heavily when everything finish... head to jurong east and eat...i was super hungry... i wonder...i eat alot this days... *more pictures can be viewed at my facebook*

24-25 April 2010

I really really really have a very long long long off days.. my off days is from Sat,Sun, Mon.. den Tues im working followed by Wed and Thurs im off again...woohoo... i will resume working from tomorrow onwards...

Oopss enough of elaboration abt my off days...now above picture..its at changi aloha chalet... not much of pictures about the chalet as i dun have anytime snapping pictures coz im so busy eating...hehehe...boifren was the chef of the day...as he bbq the food and im the one who took it from him and eat...until.....he scold me...wahahahha...he cook, i eat..he cook, i eat..no chance for him to eat at all... but of course he did la after dat.. on tat day itself most of his frens tell about ghost story...i was like...wth.talking about ghost...from brave till im scared walking around the chalet alone..boifren have to accompany me up and down the chalet...if not i will be seating with his frens..dun onli say me...boifren did scared too going in and out from the chalet alone...onli when there is his frens around he go alone...on tat day itself, some of us went to OCH...it was like a stupid feeling going there...super scary...but some of us went back to the chalet after we reach there...so after that went to find bapok but there isnt any...hehe.. so most of them went home so left like 6 ppl in the chalet...everybody do their own stuff...so i slept awhile...woke up like about at 9...so wash face...pack things...den off home via cab from changi till my house...super far...hahaha...

so reach home...slack awhile...den mummy cook for me and boifren prata..boifren eat like abit only...den after eating, i went to bath...change baju and stuff...boifren told me that his dad called earlier said that they want us follow go to marina as there is a new bridge near the casino there..so get change and im out from my house..boifren change den meet me under his block...wait and wait and wait...his dad came...so we went to eat at bencoolen there...my eyes we so heavy on tat spot..drank a cup of coffee and there goes my energy...in the cab i was sleeping and so is boifren...we sleep like nobody business...during the sleepyness day, me become the model of the day...boifren kept snapping my pictures here and there.haiz...we went to many places on tat day...boifren and me were like zombies...no more strength...hahaha....it was really a sunny day....couldnt take it with the heat...let the pictures do the talking alrite...i will just post abit onli... so...more pictures at my facebook as usual ok..

Oh yes before i forget, before we went for the chalet, boifren,kai,zizi and me went to WILD WILD WET..we do have fun there....its been long since i swim...hehehe...no pictures for wild wild wet...

2010-04-17T23:56:00.003+08:00

Since boifren is going to POC soon... He is like reacting so strange lately... Its like... very different... If i were to say abit different, he will tend to scold me...but this is wat i feel...

1) i feel like kinda far away from him
2) the way he talk to me at times really harsh
3) the way he is towards me is like different

i just dunnoe how to describe anymore..

but bby if u read this.. i feel so sad... i noe its onli 4 days more...and you said i can spent time with u like normal times.. but why must u react like this to me?

i dun want to elaborate more..

i just feel sad... eventhough u did care about me..ask me do i have any fever or something...i just need u to pamper me like last time... i feel so far away from u...

imy yes i am... but dun react like this to me pls... mayb its me who thinks like this...but...really...the way u talk...very harsh...u are not like tat to me...

2010-04-14T11:16:00.002+08:00

its been long since i went out with my frens to shop.. yesterday was the day is my first time going out with my hyatt fren...tat is kak liza and hajar...it was a very fun experience going out with them...kak liza will actually be like our mom saying this clothes over at this shop is not good or its very expensive..she will even buy some things that is the same with us...onli 3 of us its already noisy....

so the whole journey goes like this..
1) meet hajar at orchard ctrl station at 2.30pm but as usual gerls will always be late...so she reach at orchard ctrl station ard 3pm...
2)she was at the wrong exit..so i walk and search for her..
3)met her and walk to far east plaza.. went round and round..we were so noisy going from one shop to another....
4)we are searching for shoes, clothes and even pants.. *i saw this pants and i want it so much...wait till my nxt pay day*
5)walk and walk...hajar bought 1 pants...so we head to sweet talk bought bubble tea and off to hyatt to meet kak liza...waited for her in our dept..
6)sit down talk and talk..laugh and laugh..giggle and giggle...
7)boifren call...*answered*
8)countinue story...wait and wait...finally kak liza finish werk...so she change and everything...we walk out from hyatt around 5pm..
9) head to ion followed by wisma den takashimaya followed by wisma again... we spent walking around in 1 shop like about and 1hr plus...that is in watson...hehehe...they bought their stuff but i didnt bought anything at all...
10)head to lucky plaza to eat at ayam penyet ria with hajar...kak liza have to go home coz her husband have already waited for her...
11)eat and eat...finish eating...head to far east again... *i was late...i noe*
12) hajar quickly grab the shoe and off we go home...head home via bus

reached home at 9.30pm...im late...i noe...was suppose to reached home at 7pm...but im 2hr30mins late...as usual got scolding...scold...scold...scold... kept quiet onli...did say out things...but...keep quiet onli...

bby...are u still mad at me? im sorry i langgar ape yg u suruh...its been long i nvr go out with my fren...its onli 1 day i want to go out...not always going out... i dun want argue anymore about this with u...

2010-04-09T19:47:00.001+08:00

I miss boifren so much..hopefully i get to meet him tmr...plz...i really really miss him.. its like he have already started this werk our life is way way different...boifren will be working and busy..as for me i will be busy too...so we seldom talk to each other...unless we meet den we will catch up with each other..
maybe this is the start of our new things to make use to it...2 more week he will be post out and i will be with him for like 4 days.. den im back to werk...as for him...waiting for posting...

i miss going out with him..i miss the way he pamper me..i miss his jokes.. i miss everything with him..

i pity boifren too coz he is tired aft he finish werk..i cant blame him if he like scold me or something..coz i noe he is tired...but seriously...i miss boifren so much...i guess he will be going for a gig tmr...enjoy ur day syg...as for me,i will be stuck at werk... imy syg...

really really looking forward to go out with boifren..if he doesnt meet me tmr, we will be meeting each other nxt weekend.. :(

2010-04-05T00:19:00.002+08:00

I feel so lost.. I feel very giddy... My head is so painful... I feel so sad... I feel like crying..

All i need is boifren..

Bby...what do u mean by u will be starting a new life soon? Issit becos of the new thing coming up in 3 weeks time?

Im not being myself right now...

I cant feel my head... I feel like vomitting...

Oh god pls give me some strength...

2010-04-04T10:52:00.002+08:00

haiz..im hungry.. but no one even bother to accompany me to eat..

called boifren earlier on but his phone was off due to low batt.. few mins time he called me saying its raining outside so its hard for us to meet today..i understand its raining and its kinda hard to meet...so i waited till the rain stops..called his cousin hp and ask him whether want to meet me or not...but unfortunately he said.. he will meet me tomorrow instead..with a sad voice i said ok and we hang up the call...

so then i called my sister as everybody in the house is gone out.. found out they we watching my dad race at brickland road i guess..im not sure where..they said they wake me up but i didnt want to wake up...i didnt even hear anyone wake me up early morning just now...asked them what time will they be going back home and ask them buy me food...they insisted to buy me food and hang up the call just like that...haiz..

need to check how much left in my wallet as i really really need to save my money till my nxt pay comes..as some of my money was left with boifren.. i cant use that is in the atm rite now that is for emergency purposes... there is no food at home..

im hungry...few hrs later i will be getting ready for werk and i hav yet to eat...
i wonder where did boifren went last night till he sounds so tired..as i got his call at abt 3 plus nearly 4am...if i got to meet boifren just now..haiz..nvrm...

boifren will be starting his attachment tmr...but im off tmr...haiz...hopefully can meet boifren tmr after he finish werk...

boifren pls call me...i will be waiting for u...

2010-04-02T23:30:00.002+08:00

its been long since i dun update this dead blog...maybe its becoz of i tot no one is reading my blog...but actually there is...so i have to keep continue my daily habit again to update my blog every single day or week...

oh yes..gd thing...boifren will be posting out like soon..couldnt wait for that and yes boifren have a car license already...yay!! (outdated news huh...!) so see the picture up there ^^... that was the day boifren first time driving me all around and till we didnt noe where to go...first time..great experience and some bad experience too...dun need to elaborate it.. so i do really really really have fun with him..its like i feel like dun want to go home...but i have too la coz i will be working the nxt day...boifren did sent me to work the nxt day :)
we did try like 2 times of having a car with us while we go jln2 anywhere..like example go eat, chill somewhere...but its kinda fun plus hard too...the hard thing is we hardly find a gd spot for parking...the fun part is where we can actually experience different kind of things while on the road...where stupid drivers change lane as if no cars are around and stuff...boifren is a very 'safety' driver i can say...so far i dun feel scared or worried on the first day of outing with a car..

haiz currently im having my pms..all i can say that my pms is freaking bad..i have been very like emotional this days and whatever boifren said to me i can easily cry or be angry at times... not onli that...at werk much more worst.. i can be like so angry with my colleagues or even the gst that is on the phone with me...but surely i wont be like scolding them on the phone...(mampos aku nnt..kene buang kerje...hahaha) its like now im having cramps on my stomach and back...maybe i need some like massage but boifren like ignoring me...hhmm..i wonder if he reads this post..hee...i need a warm massage from u syg...

2010-04-02T23:21:00.007+08:00

this is the pictures that u need..u may pick and choose which one u want..

2010-03-09T20:33:00.002+08:00

have my first exam paper just now...after such a long long time i didnt take exam, today was the day i need to squeeze out my brain to take in notes and important factors..my exam was held at PSB Academy.. met ikin at redhill mrt as it was kinda far from the MRT station...was late about 10 mins for our paper...settle down at our place...my heart was pumping really really fast...im tired and im breathless..i look at the paper..and i start doing it carefully...i read the questions again and again...multiple choice was okay..but when i turn into my structured questions, i was lost and alot of the points i forget...i dunnoe whether its because of im tired..im exhausted...or wat... no matter wat it is...hopefully i will pass with flying colours for both my papers for today...NOT onli for today but for all my papers including this friday papers...i will be taking 2 more papers..kinda stress abit...now im resting a while...resting my mind abt my two papers that i have just done it earlier today..so after exam, i went to eat with rina and aida at tiong bahru plaza..so after tat thought of following aida to national library...but me and rina went to bugis junction for window shopping...i didnt buy anyting coz nothing caughts my eye...all i wanted is to go the shop that i trim my eyebrow BUT.......no where to be found...damn!! so went to far east to find the shop...but before going, wait for aida awhile to reach at bugis junction...den we head to far east.. walk around far east onli as i wanted to survey tankinis..but all are expensive...hmm...nvr bought anything...after tired of walking, we went to mccafe at lido to chill... we talk abt random staff..its like this is the first time im chilling with them after so long i didnt even hang out with them since the first day i step in BMC..onli chill with them during break time... we all separate from lido and head home as tmr both rina and aida will be working...and i still have 2 more papers to study...haiz...

awaits for boifren to call me..hopefully he wont be angry with me when he calls...he is angry with me at this moment...*** prays hard***
i miss boifren so much...good luck boifren for ur TP tomorrow...drive carefully syg...

2010-02-22T16:50:00.004+08:00

Its been long since i updated by blog..i have tons of things to do...after work went home straight away i will be sleeping...especially when i work morning shift...i will be sleeping the whole entire day once i reach home..i dunnoe wat makes me feel so tired once i reach home..mayb the travelling...not sure...boifren said i have gain weight..look at my hand in that picture...its kinda big...omg...must lose weight and eat less...boifren do gain weight too...he got a belly...wahahahha...onli that he dun admit...bluek...lots of things change since i work at hyatt...nyahhaha...less goin out with boifren already...if i got the chance to go out with him, we will be like spending the whole entire day with each other...

like last week..finally i got to werk in the morning on sat and sun...i got to go out with boifren like finally aft i finish work...so meet him at kallang he will be having jamming over there...so met him in the jamming room..reach there, meet kai, zizi and others.they have already started the jamming earlier..sat awhile...den walk to boifren.. disturb him from playing the guitar...hahaha...they finish jamming at 5pm..some of them proceed to gig...boifren me and others proceed to bugis as zizi wants to buy denim there...so walk and walk...i found wat i want to buy...still considering whether want to buy it or not.. after following zizi buying her stuff..we head to zamzam to eat...unfortunately zamzam was full.. so we head to the shop nxt to zamzam..the food was kinda nice there...but cannot beat zamzam la..haha...talking abt zamzam..im kinda hungry rite now...omg... so after eating, we had a double date with kai and zizi..we head to arab street for sheesha...boifren was the one who wants to go sheesha..his squad mates cancle the plan so onli 4 of us went there...sit there talk..slack...looking at ppl....laugh2.. take pic as always...hahaha...we dun really slack there till like so late...we head to bugis again as kai need to talk something from a fren...so take pic this and that...we slack at the staircase..laugh laugh..bought food eat..den head home...kinda fun day also...though kene marah from boifren coz i nvr tell him that i will be working morning the nxt day...hehehe....pictures have already uploading in my facebook...lazy to upload here...hahah...

so to my boifren who is in camp rite now..

happy 1 year anniversary to you...its like really fast time goes and its already 1 year we have been together...lots of things we have gone thru together within this 1 year..even i have learn lots of stuff while we are going thru each and every problems together..hopefully we will go thru under a very smooth relationship in the up coming years.. i love you so much sayang..

2010-02-08T20:13:00.002+08:00

after few weeks of werking in hyatt, my old job call me back saying they want me to be in there again...but after thinking and thinking... i decided i dun want to be there anymore...boifren even say dun go there back...there is some reason he dun want me to go there..but werking in hyatt is like kinda hard for me to meet boifren often like last time...every weekends we will be spending time with each other and even before he book in, he will be with me..but...now...hardly to be like tat again...haiz...my shift will always be like shit when it comes to weekends...i will be werking afternoon shift and i cant get to meet boifren for a long time...we will be like meeting in the morning and till the time that im going to werk...haiz...the feeling of sadness is there when i want to go off to werk..but last week is like the great day for me...i got to werking morning shift on saturday...1 of the colleague wanted to change shift with me but i didnt want too...i have already plan that i want to go out with boifren...its been soo long we have yet to go out tgt and went back home late...haiz...i guess we have to sacrifice some time with the timing that im werking...haiz...as always i miss boifren so much..i always waiting for the time that i get an off day during weekend...haiz...

boifren..im sorry i dun have time for u when i start to werk in hyatt...i noe weekends is the only time tat we can meet each other...i always wanted to have an off day or werk morning during weekend...but its like freaking shit they always put me to werk afternoon during weekends but not weekdays...like u said..wait till u post out den we can meet each other often it depends the timing u werking too..its not that im more to werk and forget abt u...i always praying hard i can have off days on every weekend so i can meet u like always...whenever u sent me to werk and u went out with ur frens, i feel so sad to like go werk...im used to like every saturday we always go out tgt...i miss those days...and i miss u everyday...u faster2 post out ok...i will be waiting for tat day to come...and i sure take off on tat day...approve or not i dun care...i want also...chinese new year also i need to werk..haiz...mayb i have use to during cny im off day so i can meet boifren easily...but now its not...i have to werk during public holidays...hmmm...how i wish all hotels is closed too during public holidays...i miss you so much sayang...

2010-02-03T12:49:00.002+08:00

this is a freaking damn stress week for me and boifren.. it started from last week and till now...i can bear to see boifren stress thinking about all things...haiz... its hard to see him like that...lots of problems happen this mth...hopefully 1 prob is down faster..haiz... i just couldnt figure out wat am i suppose to do..making boifren feel fine is really hard...i just couldnt think of anything...oh god plz help me... haiz... someting i should do... arghhh... boifren really couldnt think of anything wat should do.. i really need to do something abt this...

praying hard...hopefully everything will goes smoothly soon...

boifren im sorry i make u stress, i make u worried about everything..hopefully everything goes fine soon... im trying to figure out something but i couldnt think of anything..if i have some money rite now i wont be like slacking waiting for things to happen...its not onli u who is worried...im worried too...i couldnt bear to see u stress like this..i noe we can settle this together..we should find a way to make this thing settle...haiz...

2010-01-28T14:52:00.002+08:00

today is the onli day im off...so got to rest at home...woke up at 12 plus just now as boifren called me already and ask me to wake up...but the moment i wake up, he say he wants to sleep..oh great...im so freaking bored and i dunnoe wat to do...wait till boifren call me again later at night..need to do some house chores later...want to change my linen and stuff...

haiz...werking in this new job is like so different..me and boifren hardly went out together...and my shift sometimes back to back...but hopefully boifren and me will get use to it...i feel like we hardly meet each other and spending time together...hopefully i will get a chance to spend time with him one day... this job will just give me some savings...and even work more to earn more...its kinda tiring working and schooling... its like the timing is so different. coz i will be up frm like early freaking morning and at night i need to absorb someting at night...half of the time can absorb and half of it i can be like a zombie in class...so all i do is eat the whole entire lesson..

but...i miss boifren alot..

2010-01-24T00:56:00.002+08:00

i freaking shock to see my nxt week schedule...its like shit....only 1 day off...and my weekends i will be werking in the afternoon...i cant even spent time with boifren...its like saturday morning i can onli meet him like few hours and tats it...i will be werking till 11pm...as for sunday...i cant meet him..boifren dun allow me too...im so so so so sad...i just dunnoe why but i kept crying while typing this post...haiz...its like if i nvr get to meet him this week...i need to wait till nxt week..
if nxt week i wek afternoon...i need to wait for the following week...like...bile mau game siak mcm gini...haiz...i really really really feel freaking down rite now...arghh..i need my boifren...i really really need him...